Are you in a Toxic relationship?
It's hard to know for sure if your relationship is toxic or not because of the regular manipulation and gaslighting. Another reason you might deny being in a toxic relationship is that there is no outward abuse. For example, your partner may not cross any sexual boundaries or hit you, but the relationship can still be toxic.
The first step to leaving a toxic relationship is being aware of the situation. If you don't know how exactly your relationship is toxic, then you won't even know you're in a toxic relationship.
Make a pros and cons list of your relationship to know if it's toxic or not. Your pros can be that you and your partner have the same hobbies or your spouse makes you laugh. If the cons outweigh the pros, that is your sign of letting your partner go.
Below are some hallmarks of toxic partners:
1. Cut you off from family and friends for frivolous reasons
2. Doesn't respect your privacy
3. Pressures you to do things you are not comfortable with
4. Always joking, mocking, and criticizing you
5. Often prevents you from attending work
6. Makes all the decisions in the relationship and doesn't give room for opposing opinions
7. Always finds ways to bring you down
8. Destroys property when slightly vexed
9. Sends threatening messages and threatens to do something terrible if you leave the relationship
10. Gaslights, manipulates, and acts like you are the crazy one in the relationship or the things they do aren't that big of a deal
If these behaviors have your spouse's name written all over them, then you need to take action and break out of the dangerous relationship before it harms you. But how do you do that?
How to break free
1. Know that you deserve to be treated better
No matter the social stigma that comes with leaving a toxic relationship, staying can destroy you. Your spouse might tell you that you'll never find someone better, but that's not true. Abusers are fond of tearing down their victim's self-worth and self-esteem in a relationship. Remind yourself of your worth and value so you can move on. Even if you still love your partner, love is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship.
2. Be confident about your decision
No matter the circumstance, break-ups are difficult. You're leaving a life you've acclimated to, so leaving is hard even though you know the relationship is no longer safe. You may be tempted to go back to your partner, but you need to stand firm because you deserve someone that respects you.
3. Cut off all contact
If you are still contacting your ex, then the relationship isn't really over. Once you've broken up, you need to cut off all contact with your ex and move on with your life. Seeing your ex on social media or keeping in contact with your ex will leave the memory of the relationship in your mind, and you won't be able to move on. Delete your ex's number, block their socials and avoid meeting them in person to make it clear that you're done.