Why Ijaw brides don’t smile on their wedding day

Weddings are typically joyful occasions filled with smiles, laughter, and celebration. But in certain Ijaw or Izon communities of Nigeria, the bride is not expected to smile.

You’ve probably seen one of those viral videos on social media where a bride is surrounded by the groom, his friends, and family, all spraying her with money, yet she doesn’t crack a smile. To those unfamiliar with the tradition, it might seem like she’s sad or being forced into the marriage. But that’s far from the truth, she’s simply honouring an age-old cultural practice.

According to this fascinating tradition, an Ijaw bride isn’t expected to smile until her soon-to-be husband and his family have truly “earned” it. But before we explore the meaning behind this unique custom, let’s take a moment to understand, who are the Ijaw people?

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Who Are the Ijaw People?

The Ijaw, also known as Izon, are one of Nigeria’s oldest and most prominent ethnic groups, predominantly found in Bayelsa State and the Niger Delta region. They speak various Ijaw dialects and have a rich cultural and spiritual history that is reflected deeply in their traditions and ceremonies.

The Ijaw people are believed to have descended from the ORU, a group that migrated from the Nile River Valley and the Lake Chad region in northeastern Nigeria to their current home in the delta region of the Niger River. Their beliefs, language, and customs have remained remarkably distinct and spiritually rooted over centuries.

Why Ijaw Brides Don’t Smile On Their Wedding Day

One of the most intriguing customs in some Ijaw weddings, particularly in Eastern Ijaw clans is that the bride must not smile during the ceremony until she is satisfied with the amount of money her husband and his people have sprayed on her. This practice is not merely about materialism or show; it reflects something deeper about respect, assurance, and the symbolic transfer of happiness.

The Ijaw people believe in honouring their women and ensuring that a groom is prepared to keep his wife happy for life. By "earning" her smile through generous spraying, the groom publicly shows that he and his family are ready to spoil, cherish, and support her. Only when the bride feels she has been appropriately honoured does she break into a smile signifying her approval of the union.

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What Is The Spiritual Significance Of This Tradition?

This tradition isn’t just a wedding ritual, it’s deeply connected to the Ijaw worldview and their creation myth, which elevates the status of women in a powerful way. According to Ijaw cosmology, the world was created by a female deity called Woyengi (or Woyingi), whose name literally means “our mother.”

To the Ijaw people, God is not only a creator but also a procreator, like a woman who brings life into the world. In the Ijaw creation story, Woyengi descended from the sky in a bolt of lightning, sat on a large chair with a table of dirt before her, and began creating humans.

Woyengi breathed life into them and gave them the power to choose their own gender, the type of life they wanted to live, and even the manner of death they would eventually face. Because the Ijaws believe that God (Woyengi) is female, they hold women in the highest regard and go to great lengths to make them happy. During a wedding, this belief is reflected in that tradition to ensure that the groom can continue to bring joy to his bride long after the ceremony is over.

It's important to note that this tradition is not a general Ijaw practice across all clans. While this tradition might appear unusual to outsiders, to the Ijaw people, it’s a cultural expression of value and pride.

It affirms a bride’s worth, the community’s love for women, and a man’s readiness to take on the responsibility of caring for his wife. It isn’t about gold-digging or showmanship, it’s about honouring tradition, earning trust, and recognising the sacred role women play in the Ijaw spiritual and social order.

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