For example, after much thought, you have decided that you can’t carry on with the marriage anymore. If the decision was tough, telling your partner will be even harder, especially if your spouse wants to fix things.
Although the process is painful, you can do it calmly and sensibly without causing significant damage. Of course, no matter how you say it, you’ll leave your partner devastated, so it’s best to clearly and gently state why you’re no longer interested. Below are some points you should keep in mind when telling your partner that you want a divorce.
1. Plan what you are going to say
Whatever you say, ensure you are firm on your decision. If you look hesitant, you’ll make your partner believe there is room for reconciliation. Ensure you have a valid reason for opting for divorce and be prepared to answer your partner’s questions.
2. Don’t drop it unexpectedly
Don’t think your partner is prepared to handle bad news just because things are going well. Instead, mentally prepare them for what you have to say by telling them you need to speak to them about something important instead of dropping a bomb on them.
3. Be considerate but direct
When you break the news to your partner, be polite and mind what you say to them. Avoid being brutally blunt, but also don’t beat around the bush. Show compassion by telling them you understand how hard it must be for them to process the news and how the decision is the right step to take.
4. Don’t get defensive
After giving your partner valid reasons why divorce is best, explain how it would do you both good in the long run. However, if they don’t take the news well and start venting out their grief and anger, don’t get defensive or argue because it’ll only exacerbate the situation.
5. Avoid the blame game
When you were marrying your partner, you may have had high expectations from them. Sadly, you were disappointed. It’s natural to feel disgruntled, but avoid blaming someone when separating. You can tell them how their behavior affected you, but you also need to take some of the blame.
Nobody wants to divorce after marriage. In fact, it should be the last resort. If you’re constantly fighting with your spouse, try to settle it amicably or seek a marriage counselor. But if you feel the marriage can’t be saved any longer and you want a divorce, at least now you know how to say it.