According to Malachi 2: 16, God hates divorce but there are very few exceptions where divorce is allowed in Scripture.
First, Jesus permits men to divorce their wives if their wives are guilty of sexual immorality. That can be found in Matthew 5:32 which says:
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Second, Paul permits Christian men and women to divorce if the unbeliever desires and initiates divorce 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 which says:
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Furthermore, as society evolves and cases of domestic violence increase, divorce is now more accepted in such situations. While the church often recommends separation first, divorce due to domestic abuse is becoming less frowned upon, especially with the alarming rise in femicide across the country.
A marriage, as we know it, is a union between a man and a woman, and it is often said that a man of God is still a man at his best. This means that, despite the heavy anointing they carry, a marriage can still fail due to various challenges, including personal differences, infidelity, irreconcilable conflicts, or external pressures.
While we expect pastors to have perfect marriages, the reality is that they face the same struggles as anyone else. When these challenges become overwhelming, some clergy members choose to part ways, leading to highly publicized divorces that often spark debate within religious circles.
In Nigeria, several prominent pastors have experienced divorce in their marriages, some even twice! Here is an overview of a few notable cases and why it happened.
1. Pastor Chris Oyakhilome
Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, founder of LoveWorld Ministry (Christ Embassy), married Anita Ebhodaghe on February 2, 1991. The couple, who met as university students, had two daughters, Sharon and Charlene. In April 2014, Anita filed for divorce in London, citing claims of adultery and unreasonable behaviour. The divorce was finalized on February 8, 2016.
The Christ Embassy founder’s now ex-wife led the ministry’s branches in the United Kingdom, among other things. In 2014, members of Christ Embassy started noticing that Anita Ebhodaghe had not attended any ministry events for a long time. Pictures of her were also taken down from Christ Embassy’s websites.
After a long time of silence, the couple finally revealed that they were separated and were seeking a divorce. Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and Anita Ebhodaghe were seen as marital role models to members of Christ Embassy, so they could not believe that the couple would file for divorce.
Pastor Chris in many of his sermons had stated that divorce is not a Christian thing to do, but he also acknowledged that if a wife insists on divorce,
It is no longer in your hands, and you are not at fault anymore.
There were speculations on what led to the split, and Pastor Chris Oyakhilome eventually gave some insights as to what happened. According to him, Anita Ebhodaghe did not share his vision of the church and that was a deal breaker for him.
The members of the church also speculated that their relationship disintegrated because of long distance. While Pastor Chris Oyakhilome spent the vast majority of his time in Nigeria, his now ex-wife was in the United Kingdom most of the year. Neither of them has re-married.
2. Reverend Chris Okotie
Reverend Chris Okotie, a former pop singer turned preacher, is the founder of the Household of God Church International Ministries in Lagos. His first marriage to Tyna ended in 2001 after 15 years. In 2008, he married Stephanie Henshaw, a mother of three, but announced their separation in 2012, citing irreconcilable differences.
Chris Okotie's marriage to Tyna packed up without any child. He was single for a while before he decided to marry Stephanie. Stephanie had tasted two earlier marriages and had three children from the earlier marriages. Okotie’s marriage to Stephanie Henshaw was his second attempt at matrimony and the wedding was a colourful celebration.
However, in 2012, Pastor Okotie announced on a Sunday:
Stephanie and I are no longer married. We have separated. You can see she’s not in church today. It’s due to irreconcilable differences…you should please respect our wishes at this time because there is no going back.
No additional details have been released on the specific cause of the split. In 2022, Pastor Chris Okotie said that the issue of marriage is a closed chapter in his life. In an exclusive interview with BBC Pidgin, he said:
God told me that He didn’t call me to get married...He called me to be like Paul, but He tried to stop me, and I didn’t listen at the time. The life He called me to live is to be dedicated to Him and the work He called me for. So marriage is not on the menu again.
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3. Pastor Ituah Ighodalo
Pastor Ituah Ighodalo, founder and senior pastor of Trinity House in Lagos, was initially married to Lucy-Ann Suinner in 1995. After their separation, he married former beauty queen and event planner Ibidun Ajayi in 2007. Due to his remarriage, Pastor Ighodalo faced suspension from his pastoral duties at the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), leading him to establish Trinity House.
In an interview with Chude Jideonwo, the media entrepreneur, Ighodalo said the church approved that he remarried after his split from Suinner. He said church elders approached him, suggesting he got a wife to cope with the challenges of pastoring.
You pastor a big church. How are you going to cope? You need a wife. The leaders of the church approached me. I didn’t go to them. People don’t know this... I did what they asked of me and got their approval.
After the death of his 2nd wife, Ibidunni in 2020, Ituah Ighodalo in another interview with Arise TV said he might consider marriage after his children are older.
It is not possible to say I would never remarry, but if I had my way, I am okay. I am happy and my life is not complicated. I am looking after my children, and I am doing well. I might consider it when my children are older. My daughter has also warned me not to remarry.
4. Prophet Joshua Iginla
Prophet Joshua Iginla, founder and senior pastor of Champions Royal Assembly in Abuja, publicly confessed in 2019 that both he and his wife, Yemisi, had children outside their marriage. This revelation led to their divorce. Subsequently, he married Stella Zimasa, a South African, with whom he had an affair that led to the birth of a daughter.
The cleric announced the divorce in his church on Sunday saying that his marriage ended due to infidelity on both sides. According to him, when his wife cheated and had an ‘unholy child, he forgave her but when he cheated and had a child outside wedlock, she decided to make life unbearable for him.
And somehow she brought an unholy child into the matrimony, I don’t want you to judge my wife or anything, but it led to so many battles, family intervention but we covered it... I also went out and got a child outside of wedlock and then it became a battle in the family... I told her to settle in secret or I will go to the world Confess my sin, receive the insult and end the Marriage. And that is what I am doing now. She has pushed to this point to the extent that I’m confessing my sin to the whole world, I want the world to know. I covered her up during her time and when mine came she threw me to the wall.
Yemisi however denied the allegations her husband made against her, she said:
My three children are his, I have never lived a promiscuous life. I am speaking out for my children’s sake and their destiny.