"My girl wants to meet my parents but I don't want her to"

Dear Bukky,

All I need is just a clarification on this issue that I and my girlfriend are dragging at the moment.

We have been dating for four months and it’s been quite great I must confess, she’s good, she does not nag, and the sex is pretty amazing too.

But for the past one month and half, she has been pestering me to take her to my parents, and that is where the problem lies.

I am of the belief that a guy decides when to take such step, and of course, that should come when he is totally convinced of the girl.

I don’t want to introduce any girl to my parents now, and then we’ll break up, and I’ll have to introduce another one, and another one and on and on. So I want to be very sure before doing that.

I’m sure my parents will approve of this girl to be sincere, but the manner with which she’s pushing the issue is making me have second thoughts because I kinda get this feeling that she’s desperate, and might even be acting right just so I can hurry along and marry her.

What if she’s been pretending all along, hoping to actually reveal her real identity after we marry, [if I marry her]?

I guess my question is, don’t you think the relationship is too early for her to be aggressively pushing for an introduction with my parents?______________________

Hi Reader,

I think I understand the angle you are coming from, but at the same time, I feel you need to understand that some girls like assurances and for her meeting your parents might just be all she needs to be at peace.

The logic that applies to some people is that it’s better to appear desperate by asking questions and making commitment demands instead of wasting time and ending up with nothing.

Yes, this might not be what you are used to, but everyone is not the same, and if she’s as good as you say she is, why not just have a little faith and take the leap with her?

I mean, this introduction to your parents appears to be what she needs to be sure you are committed to her and the success of that relationship.

Plus you said so yourself; your parents will approve of her, and she's good to you, too.

So what can the harm be if you sound so convinced of her?

And finally, concerning your question about when the right time is to introduce someone to your parents, I believe there is no specific time for it.

In as much as you are comfortable and you feel ready, then, go ahead and do it._________________________

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