Dear Lagosians; Lagos is not ‘abroad’, ‘street credibility’ is not synonymous with ’smart’, and Lagos hustle does not guarantee success…
Ever been in a congregation of people with a significant amount of them living in Lagos? For some reasons, which are actually quite absurd if properly examined, they feel they are living abroad.
Eko Akete.
Miss me with the incessant traffic which results in a lot of sleep deprivation, Lagos is conveniently the most stressful city in Nigeria.
Lagosians, after staying in a place for a while say: “I’m going back to Lagos”, with almost the same vigour one would say “I’m travelling out of the country.” It leaves me ‘almost’ bewildered. I daresay the beaches must have an effect, making most think they are in Miami or Mauritius or some other fancy place. Also, those tall stories of a building are probably confused with skyscrapers, having Lagosians think they are living in Hong Kong or New York City.
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Common questions/statements by Lagosians when they are not in Lagos or when they meet ‘non-Lagosians’:
“What do you mean you’ve never been to Lagos?”
I remember vividly when a friend was asked this; I could feel as much as see his ego deflate when the lady who questioned him teasingly said: ‘Ilesha boy’. I was however disappointed he didn’t reply her. ‘How could you let such a simple question as that get to you that much?’ I thought to myself.
The annoying part was that although the said lady lives in Lagos, she hails from Ilesha; something about pot calling kettle black.
“I once took a cab for #50 in Ibadan.”
Lagosians it seems have an unsquashed beef with people from or living in Ibadan. Apparently, the person who voiced this out felt the distance travelled was too cheap for #50, implying that more would have been paid had it been in Lagos. I’m sure the driver would have appreciated being paid more for less.
“Do you have a cinema (in Ibadan)?
No. The largest city in Nigeria doesn’t have a cinema, and I think Ibadan peeps must have to travel to Lagos to see a blockbuster or any movie for that matter. I remember being in Ife, and this lady said, “The cinema in Ife isn’t a cinema at all. Ibadan is better though, although it is small and substandard; nothing like those in Lagos.” Honestly, I could almost bet my money on it that she hasn’t even been to any cinema in Lagos, and if she had, it definitely wasn’t on her bills. But what do I know? She might even just have rephrased something she heard someone say.
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“This place would make more sense if it was in Lagos if we had the space, but there would be a gate fee.”
Dear Lagosians that you pay to use everything and enter everywhere does not place you on a higher pedestal than that fellow from Ife. It isn’t every day that ‘price’ indicates ‘class’.
Lagosians it seems have a crazy need to continually prove that they live in the ‘USA’ of Nigeria, forgetting that Lagos is not the most expensive city in Nigeria, and it’s arguably the most developed.
Dear Lagosians, it’s not unheard of that most of you left your villages to hustle in the ‘abroad’, but please, Lagos is not abroad.
Written by Christiana Osun.
Christiana is a writer dedicated to voicing out thoughts we’d rather not complete: Presenting our realities and sharing relatable experiences and thoughts provoking subjects. She’s sarcastic, fun loving and an enigma of possibilities.Instagram: @_themillenniallady_ Facebook: OSUN Christiana Oluwadamilola Email: krwistee@gmail.com