Pulse Blogger Dear Akpos-tle Suleman

"When God calls a man, the first thing he should do is to call his deranging penis to order and let the penis know that it has only one home it should crawl into for the rest of its life."

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Stephanie Otobo and Apostle Johnson Suleman play

Stephanie Otobo and Apostle Johnson Suleman

(Pulse.ng)

The reason I refuse to attach your religious title is because I don't believe you have a true call. I may be wrong but, hey, you gave me reasons to doubt your call.

When God calls a man, the first thing he should do is to call his deranging penis to order and let the penis know that it has only one home it should crawl into for the rest of its life.

For you, you have homes scattered across the world. Where you enter looking around like an armed robber

Your claim to be an apostle is laughable. I cannot stand the thought of an apostle whose 'real' ministry is hinged on promiscuity.

You are lucky to be in Nigeria. A country where the populace loses their senses when you say you're a man of God. Then, it becomes the duty of Nigerians to make you 'God of men'. Anything you say becomes engraved on marble.

It is pathetic that some Nigerians who masquerade as humans are actually thinking that this is a set up. You, an acclaimed apostle set your self up before whoever is setting you up nursed the idea.

Now, there's something called appearance of evil. It isn't the evil itself. But, the appearance.

Seeing you with a girl that isn't your wife behind closed doors praying for her or counseling her is an appearance of evil. The human mind is evil. Giving outsiders a reason to suspect a sexual relationship is unprofessional in the religious business. Whether we are wrong or right it is your business. We don't care

Now, you got yourself a personal Delilah who is gradually shaving the locks of your ministry. She will not rest until she shaves the last lingering hair and give you indelible scars on your scalp.

 

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I am gutted at your doings in the lives of the lucky women in your life.

Last year, in the heat of the recession, you had the satanic boldness and guts to buy an actress who isn't hungry a big Mercedes car while I know a family that attends your church that was thrown out of their apartment for owing house rent.

While their daddy GO who they dash all their moneys travels the length and breath of this world just for fuckery.

After lousy thrusts and insincere moans, you sign a cheque and get a massage as a bonus.

Uncle Suleiman, I am ashamed of you on your behalf. You have smeared shit on the faces of your gullible members who gave you their senses to think on their behalf.

The most annoying part is your denial. Why deny? In the 21st century? You're denying and you think it will be a success?

If Peter was to deny Jesus christ in the 21st century, he wouldn't have done it successfully.

Facebook will uproot the picture he took with Jesus in Galilee. Twitter will resurrect the tweet where he said; " we almost drowned today but my hommie Jesus had my back"...

There is no escape route in this century.

Uncle Suleiman, please, be like David who when he was caught in the act went down in sack cloth and ashes crying and begging God to forgive him. David a man after Gods own heart.

He would have done a casual apology but he didn't . He didn't even think of denial.

But uncle Suleiman who isn't a man after anybody's heart is denying in the most painful and annoying manner.

Continue denying. But have it at the back of your mind that karma has located your address.

And it sure will kick you on the balls in the most remarkable way.

It will go down in the history of Nigerian Pentecostalism that a certain Suleiman was turned into a piece of bread by a woman who is not his wife...

Mark Anthony is a young writer  with a wit and boldness to fear. He could be reached via markanthonyfoundation@gmail.com Or on Facebook as Mark Anthony Banks