Pulse Blogger Before I go to sleep

I didn't realize the beauty of a peaceful night's rest till I experienced Sleep Paralysis first hand. There's really no other way to experience it, except first hand.

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Before I go to sleep play

Before I go to sleep

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I didn't realize the beauty of a peaceful night's rest till I experienced Sleep Paralysis first hand. There's really no other way to experience it, except first hand.

I close my eyes to sleep. I dream. Of what, I don't remember. It seems like a regular dream until it switches. Suddenly the mood and the characters in the dream fade away and I'm all alone. It's dark, or is it red or some other colour I can't recognise? This is not a dream. This is real, or is it? I don't know. I don't know where I am.

It's like this void in which I'm the only one present. I think I'm dreaming, I don't like the feeling of this dream. I have to wake up, right now, before it gets worse. I have a feeling it's going to get worse. If this is an ordinary nightmare, why can't I get myself to wake up? I'm aware I'm asleep. I can't move. Why can't I move?

There is a pressure mounting on my chest, preventing me from moving any part of my body. I'm aware I'm asleep, I'm also aware I'm having a bad dream but I can't get myself to move in real life. I can't wake myself from this dream. I can't snap out of this trance I'm in.

Hold on, something is happening. I'm falling. Why am I falling? Where am I falling? Am I falling in this dream or in real life. If I'm falling in real life, it means I can move right? And I can wake myself up. Only I can't, I can't tell if this fall is happening in reality or in the dream. I'm still falling, from where I don't know. I can't stop myself from falling.

It's not just a fall it is a forceful one. As though gravity himself, in all his glory, is pushing me down and spinning me around at the same time. There's no stopping it. I can't fight whatever is causing this downward pressure, it's too much. I have to hold on to the bedpost for safety.

Maybe it would soften my landing. Because whatever this force is, it has no mercy. I have to grab the bedpost. I grab it. Or do I? I can't tell, it still feels as though I can't move. I can't tell the difference between reality and this trance. It feels as if I'm not in control of my body. The only thing I can control is my mind. Maybe. I'm aware. I'm aware that I'm asleep somewhere, as if some part of me is watching this happen to me, yet both parts feel every bit of it. 

Something is happening as I sleep and I can't do anything about it. Maybe I can scream, maybe if I scream loud enough, I would scream out in real life. Maybe someone else could wake me since I can't wake myself. I scream. I can feel myself screaming but I can't hear the screams. Why isn't anyone here with me? Why is it so dark.

The falling hasn't stopped. The pressure is so much, it's consumed my entire body. My heart is pounding, I'm sweating, I'm exhausted. Am I going to die? Is this what death feels like? Being dragged from life and unable to do anything about it? I picture myself screaming, I feel all the energy that goes into screaming, all that's left is for me to actually scream but I can't. I'm still holding on to the bedpost, it's all I have.

No one is here with me. I'm all alone. I'm going to die alone. I hear voices. Or is it my mind? Something is telling me I have to wake up, this is a bad dream, or a spiritual attack. I have to wake up right now or I would die. But I can't, I can't move, I can't wake up, I can't control what's happening to me. I'm scared.

I start to pray in my mind, I don't know what is happening but I'm scared, maybe if I pray I would wake up. I'm praying in my head with all my energy but I feel like I can't hold on for much longer, pressure is mounting in my throat. I'm praying someone wakes me up in real life.

If I can't wake myself up, maybe someone else can. Nothing. Someone please save me, God help me, anybody. I don't want to die. I'm still falling and spinning at the same time.

There's a weight on my body. I fear that the pressure and weight would get too much for me to bear and I would give up. Maybe when everybody wakes up by morning, I would be the only one who wouldn't. This is the end for me. I'm still praying in my mind, this time I'm asking God to forgive my sins as waking up seems impossible and death seems inevitable. I'm asking God to protect my family.

I'm convinced this is my last night and I want to make it to heaven. However, a part of me is still fighting, battling whatever force this is. 

Slowly, slowly, everything comes to a halt and I wake up. I look around, still in the same position I had slept, not even the slightest movement I had made. My hands aren't even on the bedpost.

I hadn't moved an inch! I check the time, only four minutes have passed since I fell asleep! I'm exhausted, it's the middle of the night but I'm scared to go back to sleep, what if it happens again? I won't make it this time. Slowly, gradually, I fall asleep and the next time I open my eyes, it's morning.

Experts say it occurs when the body's transition to or from Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep is out of sync with the brain. 

Usually, during REM sleep, the brain has vivid dreams, while the muscles of the body are essentially turned off. While sleeping, the muscles are unable to move so that the person won't be  able to act out dreams with their body.

Sleep paralysis happens when a person wakes up before REM is finished. So basically, your body and your brain are not on the same page when it comes to sleep resulting in an inability to move because the body's ability to move hasn't been turned back on yet.

Sleep Paralysis can be caused by poor sleeping patterns, stress, medication, sleeping on your back or can even be hereditary. The inability to move may sometimes be accompanied with hallucinations because basically, your brain isn't functioning accurately at the time.

So no, it's nothing spiritual and it isn't even life threatening though it's impossible for me to relate to these technicalities because all I feel is fear. Absolute fear. Nothing else. Panic is the only emotion my brain can comprehend at the time.

Presently, a good night's rest is all I pray for, before I go to sleep.

Written by Noya Sedi

A pop culture enthusiast whose passions are writing, reading, health & lifestyle and of course Kanye West.

Twitter: @ashotofnoya

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