You ever see a name and just go “what were the parents thinking”? That is the entirety of this article. Every name in here is either confusing or oddly impressive, but at the same time positively hilarious.
Here are the funniest names of people in sports that have caught our attention for your comic relief (the people in question will most likely not find it that funny though).
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Guy Forget
The words “Guy Forget” would most likely be uttered by a young Nigerian urging his peer to forget about something but in France it refers to a tennis legend.
Guy Forget is a retired tennis player who is now an administrator in the sport and his French name is pronounced “Gi Forjay” but in English, it’s just Guy Forget.
Fair Hooker
Fair Hooker was an American Football player in the 60s and 70s for the Cleveland Browns but the ex-NFL star’s name sounds more like a description of how he likes his women.
Fabian Assmann
Speaking of preference in women, 36-year old Argentine goalkeeper Fabian Assmann is very specific about the features he looks out for.
Dick Pole
Retired American Baseball player originally named Richard Henry Pole has been a victim of a worldwide problem which is that the name Richard is automatically shortened into ‘Dick’ as a nickname.
It is a weird rule but these jokes write themselves. Dick is famous for being six foot three inches long…tall! I meant tall.
God Shammgod
Retired basketball player and current coach on the Dallas Mavericks backroom staff, God Shammgod did not have the type of career he had hoped for.
For someone with two “gods” in his name, his basketball moves were ungodly at best, he played 20 games in the NBA for the Washington Wizards before he was traded, and spent the rest of his playing career as a journeyman overseas.
Miroslav Satan
There was a god, which makes it only right that we have a satan in sports. Step up retired hockey player, Miroslav Satan to fill the void.
The Slovakian name “Satan” is actually pronounced “Shatan” with the actual name written as Šatan but we are going to stick with Satan (not literally) because it’s funnier and we speak English.
DeWanna Bonner
Yes, I do want a boner actually… oh wait that wasn’t an erotic question, it is the name of an American basketball player who struts her stuff for the Connecticut Sun in the WNBA.
Nicky Butt
Ex-Manchester United and England midfielder Nicky Butt had a successful enough career to avoid direct comparisons to Nikki Minaj’s iconic rear end.
Destinee Hooker
It’s a good thing Destinee Hooker grew up to be a professional volleyball player because it seems like her parents had very specific career plans for her future.
The Windass family
Dean Windass is a retired English football player and father to Josh and Jordan Windass who are also currently professional footballers.
With a last name like that, you just know they get blamed for every fart ever dealt within a 50-mile radius of where they are.