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In a recent speech, Balablu, the satirical persona of former Vice President Atiku Abubakar's Special Assistant on Public Communication, Phrank Shaibu, addressed the Nigerian public mockingly and sardonic.
His address came after persistent urging from political figures Atiku Abubakar and Peter Obi.
Shaibu opened his speech by questioning Abubakar and Obi's motives, suggesting they were impatient for their turn.
"Why can't they just wait their turn? They've been bothering me as if I personally organised this protest," he remarked.
Referencing Senate President Godswill Akpabio, Shaibu claimed he had previously communicated with Nigerians through Akpabio.
He quipped, "Didn't you get my message from Senate President Akpabio? If you want to protest, go ahead—but remember, we'll be here, enjoying a fine selection of wines."
Shaibu went on to mock former Governor Ayo Fayose's explanation of Nigeria's hunger problems, attributing it to overpopulation.
He sarcastically summarised the protest's origins, alleging a conspiracy by Atiku and Obi.
"The protest was organised by Atiku and his buddy Peter Obi. They cleverly used the Igbos to start the protest, while sending the northerners to the streets and advising the Igbos to stay out, all to keep me guessing," he stated
Addressing the tragic deaths during the protests, Shaibu deflected responsibility, saying, "Didn't I send Wike to warn you? How is that my problem now?"
Shaibu then sarcastically reviewed the protesters' demands, ranging from lowering petrol prices to ₦100 per litre to comprehensive electoral reforms. He dismissed each demand with biting humour.
On the demand for combating insecurity and hunger, he retorted, "Isn't that what prayers are meant for?"
He ridiculed the idea of a compulsory living wage of ₦300,000, calling it "fantasy economics at its best."
On the call for public officials' children to attend public schools, he joked, "I guess we'll all wear matching uniforms then?"
Shaibu concluded his address by deeming the protesters' demands impractical and declaring he had more pressing matters to attend to, such as sampling a 60-year-old whiskey.
"Having thoroughly reviewed your list, I trust you now see the impracticality of these demands," he said before signing off.