Toxic traits of a man who’s prone to domestic violence

Domestic violence is a serious and sensitive issue that affects millions of people around the world, and it's something that I believe we need to talk about more openly.

Recently, I read in the news that a famous celebrity, Keke Palmer, has been secretly enduring domestic violence from her abusive partner, Darius Daulton. This story broke my heart, and it made me realise that no one is above domestic violence. We need to educate people more about the signs of domestic violence and encourage victims to speak out.

With that in sight, I'm going to discuss some of the toxic traits of a man who is prone to domestic violence, highlighting all the things that a person should watch out for. 

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is any abuse that occurs in a domestic setting. It can be physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse. Domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of their age, gender, financial or social status.

Signs of an abusive partner

Some of the most common signs include:

Controlling behaviour: An abusive partner may try to control every aspect of your life, from what you wear to who you can spend time with. They may also try to isolate you from your friends and family.

Jealousy and possessiveness: They may be jealous of your relationships with other people, be possessive and try to control who you talk to and what you do.

Anger and aggression: An abusive partner is one that’s easily angered and aggressive. They may yell at you, put you down, or threaten you.

Blaming and shaming: Everything that goes wrong in the relationship is always pinned as your fault. All they do is shame you and make you feel worthless.

Physical violence: The worst of it all is them putting their hands on you. They may hit, kick, punch, or choke you.

Unfortunately, these domestic abuses sometimes lead to death.

What should you do if you're in a relationship with an abusive partner?

You're not alone in this. There are people who can help you only if you’re willing to end the cycle of violence. 

Here are some things you can do:

Talk to someone you trust: A problem shared is a problem half solved. Try talking to a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or domestic violence hotline advocate.

Make a safety plan: This is a plan for how you will stay safe if your partner becomes abusive. Your safety plan should include things like where you will go if you need to leave your home, who will take care of the kids if you have children, and who you will call for help.

Leave your partner: I know that this is easier said than done and it may be the most difficult thing you would ever do in your life, but you need to put yourself first. Prioritise you and remember that you deserve to be safe and happy.

How can we encourage women to speak out about domestic violence?

Creating a safe and supportive environment where abused women can talk about their experiences would encourage them to speak out. We can challenge the stigma associated with domestic violence, letting women know that they're not alone.

Here are some specific things we can do:

• Listen to women (could be our close friends) who have experienced domestic violence. Let them know that you believe them and that you support them.
• Don't judge women who have experienced domestic violence. Remember that they are victims of a crime.
• Challenge the stigma associated with domestic violence in any way you can. Let people know that it's not okay to abuse their partners.
• Educate people about the signs of domestic violence. This will help them identify domestic violence and get the help they need.

Useful Resources

If you are a victim of domestic violence and don't have close friends or trusted family members to talk to, consider reaching out to the authorities on the following numbers:

• Women at Risk International Foundation: 0809 210 0009
• Stand to End Rape: 0809 596 7000
• Lagos State Domestic & Sexual Violence Response Team: 0813 976 0048
• Women Against Rape Sexual Harassment & Exploitation 0803 407 8730

Domestic violence is a serious issue, but it's something that we can all consciously work together to address.