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As more and more people give up on emotional relationships for different reasons, friends-with-benefits (FWB) arrangements are becoming a popular choice.
This is why many people are getting involved in such ‘friends-with-benefits’ relationships, also called romantic friendship or a f@*k buddy. Many even call it a relationship with ‘no strings attached.’ But can we say for sure that those strings would remain loose and unattached? Aren't there always a few threads attached?
Aside from the people who genuinely want to have FWB connections, there are those who have boyfriends or girlfriends and still see other people in secret, which makes the whole situation even more complicated.
Also, how logical is it to have sex with somebody and still opt out of any emotional bonding? And what if one partner develops feelings for the other? What happens then? We’ve heard stories of one or the other partner actually falling slowly in love with the other in a FWB arrangement and this brings the whole thing to a stop.
Such relationships can indeed be tricky.
You could start with just enjoying sex but repeated physical intimacy may lead to an emotional connection. When that happens, what happens?
Regardless of your motives for wanting this arrangement, there's only one thing you can do if you want your friends-with-benefits relationship to work out, and that is:
Communication
Have open conversations as communication in this scenario is very necessary. Both individuals should discuss their expectations, boundaries, and desires from the very beginning. Miscommunication can result in hurt feelings if both parties don't openly address their expectations, boundaries, and intentions.
Note: There are no guarantees. Matters of the body and heart are not always predictable but some things can be done to manage the situation. Be honest about your emotions and be prepared for the possibility that feelings may change over time.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, FWB relationships can sometimes become complicated if one person develops feelings for the other. If that happens, the best thing to do is to be open about it and have a conversation. If you don’t expect emotional support from that person, tell them that. If you believe there's potential, tell them that. If you are sure you cannot have that emotional connection and companionship, it’s better to end it all and leave.
While this can happen, some people are naturally better suited for FWB arrangements than others. These ones are in charge of their emotions and can strictly separate sex from emotions so if you’re one to fall in love easily, it's best to steer clear of FWB.
It’s also possible that your “friend” may eventually fall for someone else while in that arrangement with you and want out.
These, among many other reasons, are why you must have open communication with your potential "friend" before agreeing to such an agreement for it to actually work.
If you’re new to this…
If you’re new to FWB and want to give it a try, understand that there is no commitment involved. You cannot expect any commitment, not now, not ever. So, while in a relationship with you, your FWB partner might commit to someone else. That is very possible and happens a lot.
Also, you have to fully agree to go through with the arrangement. No sentiments or emotional attachments. You shouldn't simply dive into a friends-with-benefits relationship without a thought. Discuss this arrangement with your "friend" and proceed only if you both are on the same page.
If you’re attracted to someone and that person only wants FWB, don’t walk into this situation assuming they will eventually fall for you. It almost never works out. If this is your goal, it's best to kill the idea just so you don't end up disappointed and in a complicated mess.
Yes, there have been instances when an FWB relationship has ended in a real relationship but most times, it leads to heartbreak when emotions come into play. So be careful how you deal with it.