‘#WomenTalkS3xByPulse’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on s3xual health, pleasure, and what women expect good s3x to be and feel like. Feel free to fill this tiny form if you'd like to chat with us and feature on this series.
On this edition, our subject is all about the changes she experienced as she transitioned from her 20s to her 30s, and the new things she’s finding out that her body is capable of. She also drops a hot take on 20’s s3x versus s3x in your 30’s. Read on
I’m wondering, what is something you would say you want to get better this year?
You mean sexually?
Sure. Sexually. Think of it as your sex goals for the year
Well, I clocked 30 in November of last year and a few months before that, I had discovered that my horny moods were becoming more intense. Not more, but more intense. Like, I don’t get horny more frequently than before, alright. But the intensity and how serious it can get is very different now. I think it has something to do with the famed 30s.
The famed 30s?
Yeah. People often say sex becomes better as you grow older - particularly in your 30s. So I guess that’s where I’m at now. So my goal is to lean into it and just ride the wave as much as possible. [Editor’s note: It’s actually scientifically proven that women are hornier in their 30s. A simple google search will provide all the deets you need on this.]
Hmm. I like that for you
Yup yup. Hopefully, it goes well.
I hope so. Now take me back. When was the first time for you?
Secondary school obviously.. There was this boy I was eyeing and then we had this party where we somehow ended up dancing together. I’m a pretty good dancer and I can move my waist well so I was pretty much grinding against him the entire time. It was a bit shameless but I didn’t care. He got hard and stayed hard all through. We both snuck out to a deserted spot around and had trashy sex.
How trashy how we talking about?
Did it against the wall, without much lubrication and although it didn’t hurt much [thankfully], it was over before it began. Teenage excitement lol.
Where did your sex life go from there?
It didn’t go anywhere oh. LMAO. It just stagnated. I didn’t do much for like 3 years after that.
Why not? And how old were you at this point?
Uhm I was just going on 15 at the time. So I was still living with my folks obviously and the chance to wild out didn’t occur a lot. By the three years I referred to earlier, I was already in uni and that was when I tried again. It was a little better this time around and it just got better from there.
So your sex life has been lit since you made that comeback?
Yup. Pretty much. Had a few dips here and there, mostly from one-timers. One thing I’ve noticed is that every time I’ve had sex with someone more than once, like in relationships or FWBs, the sex always bangs. Everyone I’ve been with only once has been trash. I don’t know why but it’s just been like that.
Have there been many of that?
Nope, just two more people after that guy in my secondary school. Two of them actually happened during my NYSC. Lmao maybe they were thinking too much about unpaid allawee at the time because they used to owe us that time.
LMAOOOOO. Please abeg
It is what it is.
Your sex life now. Tell me about it
I have two kids now, and I just clocked 30 a few months ago and like I explained earlier, my body is moving in a new way that requires special dicking down for at least two consecutive days every two weeks. And then, of course, ovulation time for me has become horny-on-steroids. My husband literally has his hands full now, bless his sweetheart. LMAO.
Hahahaha. I’m not sure he’ll be complaining much
Not yet and hopefully never. We have a few sex toys that he uses to augment his own expertise. To be honest, I am having the time of my life and it’s been like that since about three months before my 30th birthday. So it’s been 5 months of new-found pleasures. I’m liking it. If this is how my 30s will be, I am down for it.
Apart from the intensity of your horniness, what else has your 30s changed in your sex life?
I am more open to different things now. I’ve been wondering how a threesome would feel. Not sure my husband would agree to that so I may never do it and I’m OK with that. But I also wouldn't mind doing it if the opportunity presents itself. Me of 5 years ago wouldn't give a second thought to stuff like that. Also had anal sex for the first time this past December. Kinda liked it. It’s an acquired taste though. I’ll tell you that for free.
LOL. I imagine so.
Also, my orgasms feel more shattering. It’s always like everything wants to end and my soul wants to depart from my body. Omooo…
LMAO. That good, huh?
Very very good oh. But I’ve always had insane, intense orgasms sha. But these days, it feels like it has grown a bit more. It could be in my head sha. LOL.
It’s probably not. Might sound like an obvious one but which would you pick, sex now or sex in your 20s?
It’s actually not as easy to choose as you might imagine oh. Wait, let me think. So I’ve only been 30 for a little while compared to the years I spent having sex in my 20s. Had some pretty great experiences back then oh, plus there were different people. Now it’s just one person and the time frame is not significant like that.
So…?
Lol. I think I will still pick my 20s. LMAO. Maybe if you ask me this same question after three or five years, I can have a different perspective.
LOL. That is unlikely sha but hey, I feel you
Never say never oh.
True, true. Over 100, how would you rate the quality of sex you are having now?
Hahaha. Now that is the one that has an obvious answer. Definitely 100 0h. Won’t change a thing!
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