As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, Pulse Nigeria is speaking to lovers across the country asking them all the burning questions about finding and keeping a lover. This is the story of Blessing and Michael.
In 2010, Michael was working as a voice coach at a music school. Blessing was attending the same music school as a student. They couldn't stand each other, wink, wink. Through the window of class, while Michael was teaching, Blessing would blurt out answers to questions he was asking his class.
She said she did it because she couldn't stand him.
Then they started attending the same church in 2013 and things would change. They became friends, at first. But by 2015, they could not pretend it had not been love all along. They started dating. Years later they got married and then came two babies in baby baskets.
Now, Blessing does backing vocals for top musicians, and Michael is a music director and creative storyteller.
What has kept the two of you together for all these years?
Michael: One of the things that brought us together was music and it has kept us. And in a very interesting way, music kind of unites us. I lead the team in church and she’s in the choir.
ALSO READ: Japa separated them –– this is how they’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day
Blessing: It is one thing that has kept us together. We argue over it and we bond over it.
Michael: We also have our differences in what we enjoy. As much as I am a Christian person, I also enjoy a bit of secular music. I appreciate music as an art.
What do you love the most about each other?
Blessing: It has changed over time. With two kids we see each other in a different light.
Michael: Personally, for me right now, it's the way I see her care for our two kids. She barely gets any help.
Why are you not helping her?
Michael: Han han. I work. So like I come back late. So all day she has been with the kids.
What do you like the least about each other?
Michael: I don’t like it when somebody resurfaces old hurts. Like, let the past stay in the past. I'm like we are over that now. Don't bring it up. She does it sometimes.
Blessing: I hate that I have to always tell him everything he has to do, be it for the children, or for the home. Like ironing the children’s uniform, I have to always tell him. Everyday.
What is your favourite thing to do as a couple?
Both: Music.
Blessing: Singing together and analysing together.
Michael: Because we are also on the same team (the church choir).
How do you overcome a challenging moment?
Michael: Bro, we are still overcoming it.
Blessing: Marriage is its own pot of beans. Marriage comes with its own baggage.
Micheal: Personally, I’m the type that just forgives, so forgiveness helps. You don't want to stay with one thing and remain in that moment. You have to move on.
Blessing: We’ve had different challenging times. But I can’t say for a fact that “this was how we overcame it.”
Michael: Thank God it was not infidelity.
Blessing: It was just things that we said that we shouldn't have said to each other. Marriage changes people.
Michael: I don't think that it changes people. I think that it brings out the real self. So you just have to find a way to walk around it.
Blessing: The way you’ll settle a quarrel today is not the way you’ll settle it tomorrow. Today you’ll settle it with “I’m sorry,” and that's it and you move on. Tomorrow you’ll settle it with, “How far, please help me buy toothpaste.”
Michael: It's not easy bro, especially in this economy. It makes a lot of things hard in terms of demands and wanting to be there. It's just crazy. We settle in different ways.
ALSO READ: He hates Valentine's Day, she loves it — this is how they manage
How are you celebrating Valentine's today?
Michael: Well, at home definitely. I've already arranged something for her. And I will bring it home.
Blessing: I think we will just celebrate it with pizza and the kids.
Michael: We are basically at home saving money.