As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, Pulse Nigeria is speaking to lovers across the country asking them all the burning questions about finding and keeping a lover. This is the story of Boma and Priye.
Boma is a software engineer and Priye is a telecommunication engineer. They met at the car park of one of those high-brow Pentecostal churches in Lagos and hit it off. She had accompanied her sister to church that day. So it wasn’t her church. He said he had only gone to that church that day to look for a wife. So it was not his church either. But they met that day and love fell them.
Years later, they had their wedding during COVID-19 in a massive hall with few people obeying social distancing rules. It’s been four years.
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Now they have a new challenge in front of them. Boma, the wife, last year moved to Canada. Priye, the husband, is still in Nigeria working as a telecoms engineer.
They chatted with Pulse Nigeria about how they manage a long-distance marriage.
How do you guys manage a distant relationship?
Both: Constant communication
So when you guys communicate, what do you actually say?
Boma: Basically check up on how our day has been. Then we talk about something that actually happened that day.
Priye: The distance didn't just happen out of the blues. It was actually planned. So every day we discuss the plan and the strategy we are devising to actualise the plan. We discuss family, we discuss work, we discuss play.
What is the secret to your relationship lasting this long?
Boma: Honestly there is no secret because what works for one couple, might not work for the other couple. I think basically for us, it’s understanding each other and knowing what this person likes, and what this person doesn't like and just trying to, like, adjust for each other.
Priye: For me, it has been a very rough, bittersweet relationship. But then we learn, and each lesson we learn from each situation has helped us to grow and keep us together. We celebrate our wins, all our small wins and big wins, we celebrate them in our little way.
What do you love the most about each other?
Priye: It’s her simplicity. She is kind-hearted. The fact that she is people-oriented, in the sense that she relates to people. I have a mother. I have three sisters and in a way, she has been able to bring all of us together. She is infused into the family and we just blend as one.
Boma: There are many things I like about him. But I’ll just focus on one thing. One thing in particular I like about Priye is that he doesn't procrastinate. When he starts something, he sees it to the end.
What is your favourite thing to do together?
Priye: It’s amebo.
Boma: We watch movies together and we eat together. For me, it’s eating together.
Priye: Eating together is your thing, not my thing.
Boma: That's why I said for me.
Priye: She is not music-oriented (Priye plays the guitar). Doing movies together really makes me happy. We gist and we cook together.
Boma: That is not what happens. What happens is you say you want to cook and you mess the place up and I come in to clean it up.
Priye: I don’t blame you.
How will you celebrate this year’s Valentine’s Day?
Boma: We will just celebrate on our phone, call each other. Though Valentine's is a special day, I don't really think that is the only day couples should celebrate themselves.
Priye: In other words, we celebrate each other every day.