We all know that a relationship must be cared for and worked on, otherwise it will not stand the test of time.
Unfortunately, many people have the wrong idea about cultivating relationships.
Sometimes we want to strengthen it, but our behaviour causes more harm than good. Find out what can harm your relationship and try to eliminate it.
This is how you unknowingly destroy your relationship
Love in a relationship is very important, but it alone is not enough. Wisdom is also important, thanks to which we will maintain our relationship and over time it will flourish instead of burn out.
Here are some things you do that may be destroying your relationship;
1. Constantly giving in to your partner
It's normal that even people who love each other may have different opinions and needs. You won't always agree with each other. In a conflict situation, you have to compromise or simply give in. And there is nothing wrong with that, as long as balance is maintained.
A relationship is a partnership, and two people are equal and equally important. This means that there is no reason for one of them to give up something and make concessions every time.
You may think that by giving in, you are showing your partner love and letting him know that he is important to you. But he should repay you the same way. A relationship in which one person only sacrifices and gives, and the other only benefits and takes, is not a healthy one.
2. Taking full responsibility for the difficulties of living together
Admitting when you're wrong is an important skill. However, we should remember that we are not the only ones who make them. Your partner should also be able to take responsibility for what happens between you.
Remember that a relationship is always a matter of two people and your problems are also common.
3. Jumping and serving
Being in a relationship is not the same as having a servant. Don't step into that role. Jumping, melting, and serving another person can be charming in the beginning. However, it will quickly start to tire you both out.
Don't expect that the other person will appreciate your effort. It is more likely that he will get used to such treatment and start demanding more and more.
4. Spreading good advice that no one asks for
It's obvious that you want to help your loved one and share your experience with them. However, there is nothing worse than being smart and giving unwanted advice. Such behaviour not only does not help, but also causes irritation, lowers the other person's self-esteem, and often hurts them.
Remember that your partner is an adult and you do not need to lead him by the hand or impose your own ways of solving the problem. It's always worth asking if they need any help or advice.
Don't assume that you are smarter and know better, because that may not be the case. And respect the will of your other half, even if you would do it differently.
5. Avoiding confrontation to prevent an argument
Many people perceive quarrels as something bad that destroys relationships and should be avoided at all costs. In fact, a wisely conducted conversation can even strengthen it, and certainly explain many things and make life together easier.
The proverbial sweeping of problems under the carpet brings temporary relief, but does not solve the problems.
Conflict issues grow and affect your further life. Unresolved grudges are embedded in people and influence how we later treat our partners and ourselves. In the long run, something like this is very destructive.
It is much better to argue regularly (with respect for the other person, of course) than to run away from problems and pretend they do not exist.
6. Being right, always
This point is related to the previous ones about giving in and avoiding confrontation. Acknowledging your partner is right every time is not a proof of love and respect. On the contrary, it's lying to him. It's always better to tell the truth, even if it's not so perfect. After all, no one wants to live in a relationship based on lies (even the best-intentioned ones).
7. Reassuring that your partner is everything to you and without them our life would lose its meaning
It sounds romantic, but it is also extremely overwhelming. No one wants to carry the burden of another person's entire life. And a relationship is not about being dependent on your partner.
By telling the other person that they are everything to you and without them your life will lose meaning, you put enormous pressure on them and corner them. This is not good or attractive. And it can make your partner grow tired of you, stop appreciating you, or start to step away to catch their breath.
This article was originally published by Onet.