To enjoy the best of relationships, a partner needs to realise which of these five languages appeals to his/her partner most. And how do you learn this?
Ask them
The clear, most obvious way to figure this out would be to ask your partner for clear pointers on how to please them and make them happy. Ask him or her: ‘how can I make you happy?’ What do you want me to do? How can I please you?
By asking questions like this, you get to understand them, their needs and desires. Surely, they would have something that makes them feel special; an act that makes them feel like the only man or woman in the world.
It does not matter whether they can categorise it under one of the well-known love languages or not. Just ask and let them talk about what love means to them. It’s all you need to listen to.
Listen
At other times, you may not even have to ask before you get into their minds enough to know what’s going on in there.
Some of the things they say in passing could be the difference between knowing them and being clueless on the best ways to please the person you call partner.
If you love someone, one of the best things you can do for them is to stay sensitive to their needs, and to them generally. Some of the things they’d interpret as a love language would be things they didn’t even know they need. It may be something said in passing, something they didn’t intend to articulate but it somehow spilled out from the abundance of their hearts.
If you listen enough, you’ll understand your partner’s love language and how to speak it.
ALSO READ: How the 5 love languages may transform your relationship
Observe
There are rules of observation that would prove helpful if you are looking to learn your partner’s love language.
Be a keen observer of how they react to things. It could be the clue you need to know what they need most emotionally.
Do their eyes light up at certain things, cloud at others and remain straight and unreadable at other times?
Those are the things you want to pay attention to and use to your advantage.