Being in a serious relationship with someone presupposes the possibility of a marriage somewhere down the line and the whole purpose of the relationship is that it serves as an exercise in testing compatibility and commonality.
In going on dates, having conversations and doing several relationship things together, partners try to find a common ground on so many things, issues on which there has to be a merger of views and values if their eventual marriage is to succeed.
While dating and occasionally/regularly meeting up is the obvious and seemingly more-acceptable way to go about the pre-marriage journey, one other method is cohabitation; which in essence means to live together under the same roof for a period before the seal of marriage is stamped on the relationship.
Cohabitation is more of a simulation of day-to-day married life, the test-running of partner’s patience, temperament and actual forbearance of each other.
It actually sounds like a great idea when you consider that cohabitation gives you a firsthand experience of your partner’s living habits and not just the refined, packaged bits they bring to the fore when you go on dates and hang out with each other.
But as great as this logically sounds, cohabitation has strong oppositions.
A moral and religious frown on cohabitation before marriage
The Nigerian society largely frowns on couples who live together before marrying. This is majorly due to the mish mash of morals and religious beliefs. So it is not unusual to see members of society, especially the old, pious and religious condemning cohabitation with as little as critical headshakes, and sometimes with as much as vicious tirades promising hell and perdition.
Religion’s grip on all facets of our society is undeniable, and all major religions being practiced around here do not allow for cohabitation before marriage for the obvious reason of preventing premarital sex.
Morally as well, premarital sex is not supposed to be a thing. So society still holds up the ideal that if couples are not supposed to be having sex, why should they living together?
The realities of cohabitation in our society
As with many other things, what actually reflects in the society is not what is supposed to be the ideal situation. So, regardless of these moral and religious standards held up against cohabitation before marriage, it seems many people still consider cohabitation a better way to judge a partner’s suitability for marriage than the traditional courting from close quarters [or from a distance as the case may be] and hoping for the best in marriage.