Guys, here is why you’re still single with no prospects

You've been doing it all wrong. Yes, you, single pringle. Although you're ready to mingle, no woman is willing to get entangled with you. 'Why is that?' you ask.

I know you might have made attempts to find a girlfriend and failed a couple of times. It's because you, my dear single friend, are doing it all wrong. Trust me when I say the issue isn't that "the market is saturated." That is hardly the case. The problem is in your approach. My intention isn't to judge. Instead, I want to help.

Your friends are getting married every weekend, and your aged mum is asking for a grandchild, but you don’t even have any prospects! Poor you. But that’s about to change, though. When I tell you all you’ve been doing wrong, the responsibility will rest solely on your shoulders to do things differently.

It is understandable when you feel you’re not asking for too much, but news flash: we ladies are. And because it’s not as balanced as you think, it becomes harder for you. You see, women are the prize, and what does getting a prize signify? Dedication, hard work, competitive spirit, the chase.

Okay, okay, I’m being too ambiguous, so I'll just head straight into telling you, dear single friend, what you have been doing wrong and why your love life is like an abandoned cupboard filled with webs. Time to clean those webs out!

You’re not ready

You know, it's one thing to say, 'I want to be in a loving relationship,' and it's another when you're well aware that you aren't ready for such a commitment. Are you mentally prepared? Are you financially ready to take care of a woman? Regardless of the feminist notions you see propagated out there, every woman wants to be loved, pampered, and taken care of. So, if you aren't mature enough or financially prepared to be the man in her life, I'm sorry, but you're going to be alone for a long time. No woman wants a man with no goals in life, no ambition, and no means of income. Go get a job and stop sitting on your ass man!"

You’re a mama’s boy

The complete definition of a man-child. This is a major turn-off for mature ladies and with this irresponsible and dependent character flaw, you're likely to remain single for a long, long time. Being a mama’s boy doesn’t just mean you're attached to your mum in a rather unusual and annoying way, it also means immaturity and an inability to make decisions like an adult. No woman wants that. 

So the reason why you’re single is pretty clear: You have no place in the mature world of committed relationships. What you need isn't a woman but a mother. I mean why would any woman voluntarily take on the responsibility of watching over a grown man who is only going to bring her stress and headaches? No, thank you. 

You don’t take care of yourself

This point cannot be stressed enough, but for the benefit of those who are new to this, I will painstakingly spell it out. No woman wants a unkempt man. Keep your nails clean, your hair cut and your body, free from odour.

If you have a peculiar ‘scent’ oozing from you bro, no woman will want to be anywhere near that. Please practice basic hygiene. Apply some cologne; even the cheap ones sold by mallams by the roadside would do. And understand that this isn't just about impressing girls, cleanliness is next to a longer, healthier life. 

Smell nice, look clean, shave, wear a Colgate smile, dress well and strike up a conversation with that beautiful girl, you’ll come back to me with testimonies. You’re welcome.

You are the opposite of self-confident

No man is ugly, it just depends on how well you project yourself. Just as women avoid an egotistical, arrogant man, they also steer clear of a guy with zero confidence. There’s a fine line you must walk between being an egotistical, proud, social media 'alpha male' and a self-assured, mature man who is very much secure in himself. 

Do you know what type of men stays single? The ones who feel uncomfortable with their appearance or believe they do meet societal 'standards, assuming that ladies wouldn’t be interested in them. But this is not true. If that were, many young and beautiful girls wouldn’t end up marrying old ‘ugly’ men. This has happened and is still happening in our society today.

The thing is, you can’t constantly belittle yourself, label yourself ugly, unattractive, unwanted and undesired and then still expect a woman to want and respect you. Handsome Femi who thinks he has it all, is proud, egotistical, and reeks of toxic masculinity will remain just as single as plain John Doe who does not think much of himself and struggles to recognise his own self-worth. 

It’s a fine line you must tread.

You are stereotypical

This might be one of the most damaging behaviours. I understand that everyone carries certain stereotypes, it's human nature, but some people take it a little too far. You cannot meet a woman and assume you know her next move simply by looking at her. It is a turn off. To be honest, social media contributes to the better part of this, or in this case, the worse part, fueling misguided perceptions. The media has perpetuated the image of women as this money-crazed set of people, which has led many men to believe that every woman out there is out for gold. 

So, you, completely influenced by the media with a stereotype reaching up to the high heavens, meet a woman today and immediately expect that she would burden you with her bills and life issues. While it'll be biased of me to say that no woman does this, it's important to remember that such behaviour doesn't represent all women.

Treating all women as if they fit that mould is both unfair and prejudiced. It’s best to approach every woman with an open mindset so you don’t get walked out on. Imagine a lady you’re getting to know confides in you and says she's a virgin only for you to respond with, 'That’s what they all say'. Best believe that’ll be the death and burial of that talking stage forever. 

Don’t guess women’s personalities and their next moves, or categorise them based off of some silly preconceived notion simply because you’ve had bad experiences. Approach every woman as a new individual. Be sincerely open to wanting a relationship and see how things work out for you.