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This dating expert explains why some relationships grow stronger after recovering from an affair.

Cheating can be beneficial to your relationship or marriage, expert says | Pulse Nigeria

Ayoola Adetayo

<h1>Cheating is harmful but it doesnt have to be the end of a relationship.</h1>

Esther Perel, a US based sex and relationship therapist says that learning and healing after an affair can a relationship grow stronger. The revelation of an affair makes people take stock of their marriage, and really look at it with from a critical perspective.

Of course what we've always known cheating to cause is a creation of doubts and pulling apart of whatever structure the relationship has been built on.

Once a partner cheats, it becomes hard to trust again or to form a connection as strong as what you had before their eyes strayed, even if it was one time.

Esther Perel says that cheating helps relationships in an unconventional way. [Credit: LovePanky]

Sarah Babs

Where partners choose to not express and discuss their issues, the end of that relationship might just be getting closer than they thought. [Credit: LovePanky]

However in a stark contrast to everything we seemingly know about cheating, Esther Perel claims cheating doesn't have to be the end of your relationship.

“Many affairs are break-ups, but some affairs are make-ups,” Perel tells The Guardian UK.

ALSO READ: <a href="https://www.pulse.ng/lifestyle/relationships-weddings/heres-a-money-mistake-to-avoid-in-your-relationship-at-all-costs/6ktsl0p">Here's 1 money mistake every couple should avoid at all costs</a>

The therapist is against infidelity and unfaithfulness among partners but she believes that when it does happen, divorce shouldn’t be the only option. Reconciliation, a chance to patch things up, move on from that occurrence should be on the cards.

“I think people should be able to determine for themselves the choices that they will make and the consequences thereof,” she says.

When a partner is caught in infidelity, conflict and divorce should not be the automatic reaction, according to Perel [Credit - iStock]

Men cheat, women cheat but women forgive more than men do.

“To just push people to [breakups] and to think that divorce is always the better solution when it dissolves all the family bonds… Entire lives are intertwined with a marriage.”

ALSO READ: <a data-link-role-code="none" href="https://www.pulse.ng/lifestyle/relationships-weddings/how-to-increase-intimacy-in-a-relationship-without-sex/h9pym05">How to increase intimacy in a relationship without sex</a>

Perel insists that the process of recovery could help improve a relationship because it makes couples actually look at the underlying issues in their relationships and actually deal with them.

“Sometimes the relationship that comes out is stronger, and more honest and deeper than the one that existed before because people finally step up.”

What do you think of Esther Perel's advice - sound or unsound?

Happy couple sharing a smile [Credit: Dean Mitchell  Getty]

Cheating can be beneficial to your relationship or marriage, expert says

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