This week on Ask Pulse, Emeka’s love interest wants him to be toxic before she agrees to be in a relationship with him.
Dear Pulse,
I'm sorry, but I have to start in pidgin English. I feel so stupid, “Na me see werey (a mad person) talk say I like her.”
So, the thing is this babe I have liked for a while told me I'm okay and she likes me too, but the only red flag I have is I'm a good guy and she wants someone toxic, someone who would insult, manhandle, talk to her like she's a nobody, impregnate, and beat her up.
She said if I'm not a toxic person, she isn't available. She demanded that I do all these things, but I refused.
I tried to convince her that toxicity is not love, nor is it how to assert masculinity and control in a relationship.
I told her that she needed to experience a different kind of love and that marrying a toxic man would only get her killed both emotionally and physically.
I've recommended books for her to read because I feel like she suffered rejection while growing up; that's why she's like this, but she is hell-bent on me being a toxic guy. What do I do?
Emeka.
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Dear Emeka,
I’m happy you know that toxicity isn’t love and you recognise her issues might stem from her childhood.
A relationship is not an avenue for you to play therapist or try to ‘fix’ your partner. She has deep-seated issues you can’t help her with; no matter how much you love or like her. What she needs is a licensed therapist.
Never succumb to her pressure to handle her roughly or inflict bodily harm on her; it's 100% wrong, and it can turn out to be more dangerous than you could ever anticipate.
Perhaps you might benefit from some space from her since she has made it clear she wants a toxic man and you're not that.
I wish you all the best.
Pulse.