Challenging your partner with evidence of their infidelity, however small or overwhelming, often leads to an alarming cycle of gaslighting and manipulation. They make you question your thoughts and beliefs.

Here are five phrases they say:

1. "How can you not trust me?"

When you question their whereabouts or address the concerning text messages you came across on their phone, they might retaliate by accusing you of lacking trust in them. This tactic is used to shift the blame onto you, suggesting that you are overly suspicious or trivial for bringing up the possibility of infidelity.

Recognize that this is another strategy for your partner to avoid guilt if infidelity occurs, and there's nothing wrong with an open conversation.

 2. "It doesn’t mean anything"

Let’s say you found out that he’s been meeting up with a female coworker after work, and you asked why he didn’t tell you about it. He might brush off your feelings by saying it doesn’t mean anything. Well, if he doesn’t mean anything, why did he keep it a secret?

 3. "You made me cheat"

Your partner may be eager to point the finger at someone else and not take responsibility. He or she may blame you entirely, alleging that you are distant or never express affection.

This is frequently done to divert attention from adultery and toward your failings, so it becomes your fault.

Alternatively, your partner may honestly believe that the distance in your relationship has left him or her susceptible to cheating. If you hear this common answer, remember that your partner made a deliberate decision to cheat, which was not your responsibility.

4. "I love you; I don’t love him or her"

This is them admitting to infidelity. Your partner might try to console you by saying they had no feelings for the person they had an affair with. Well, it might be true; they should always acknowledge that they broke your trust. Also, having a sexual attraction for someone is still some sort of feeling.

 5. "And what about you when you…"

Projection is often used by accused cheaters to switch roles and become the accuser.

Your partner might mention some past incidents where you may have made mistakes or behaved inappropriately, and they might even imply that you are now on an equal level when it comes to bad behaviour. This can make you feel the need to defend yourself.

He or she tries to confuse you and make you believe you're the one who did something wrong.

While it's possible to forgive a partner who has cheated, it's crucial to avoid being in a relationship with someone who not only manipulates and gaslights you but also fails to take responsibility and seek forgiveness.