They are emotionally frozen and have communication issues.
It gets bad when today they are sweet one day and indifferent the next day.
There are several potential reasons why this pattern may persist in your dating life:
1. Unresolved past trauma or attachment issues
Sometimes, individuals who have experienced trauma or have unresolved attachment issues may unconsciously gravitate toward emotionally unavailable partners.
This can be due to a subconscious attempt to recreate familiar, though unhealthy, relationship dynamics from their past.
Seeking therapy or counselling to address these underlying issues can help break this pattern.
2. Low self-esteem or insecurity
People with low self-esteem or insecurity may find it more comfortable to be with emotionally unavailable partners because they don't believe they deserve better.
They may fear being rejected by someone emotionally available and instead settle for less.
Working on building self-esteem and self-worth can help shift this pattern.
3. Lack of clear boundaries
If you have weak or unclear personal boundaries, you may tolerate behaviours and treatment from emotionally unavailable partners that are unacceptable.
Setting and enforcing healthy boundaries is essential in any relationship and can help deter emotionally unavailable individuals from entering your life.
4. Repetitive patterns and familiarity
Human beings tend to gravitate towards what is familiar, even if it's not healthy.
If you grew up in an environment where emotional unavailability was the norm, you may subconsciously seek out partners who replicate that dynamic.
Breaking this cycle may require a conscious effort to recognize and change your relationship patterns.
One way to break this repetitive cycle is to love yourself more. Remember that nobody can treat you badly without your permission.
Love yourself enough to set healthy boundaries and keep your standards high.