Sexting is the act of sending sexy messages, photos, clips and other forms of media via mobile phone. This definition is necessary as there might be people reading this who have just been reintroduced to society after living under a rock for a long time.
So, yeah, sexting is one of the things people do these days – couples, lovers, spouses, friends with benefits... almost everyone getting it on.
According to Michelle Drouin, an American psychology professor at Purdue University Fort Wayne, “it’s a way to establish intimacy with a partner, to tell them you’re having sexual thoughts about them, to convey sexual plans that you might have with them later on,”
She tells The Atlantic that it “is all part of the normative sexual experience now.”
It’s pretty much part of the dating and relationships game now. It is foreplay absent of touching the other person, sex without physical contact.
And texting really could be just as intense as that if you do it right. If you follow the steps below, you’ll be on your way to mastering the art.
Consent is a major key
You need to first establish that you and the other person at a certain level of relating before you introduce this to them. If not, it’ll be mighty awkward, not to mention how inappropriate it’d be.
Also no one wants to see random, unsolicited dick/boob pics from you. So don’t do it until you are sure their response will be a heart-eye emoji, rather than throwing you the block.
And it’s wise to start subtly rather going in head first!
Genuineness is better than being overly graphic
You are not writing a porn scene or erotica; you’re trying to connect with your S.O. in a sexy, genuine way. Use emojis, be clear, be sexy about it.
It’s OK to be graphic and naughty and nasty too but that’s not the be-all of it.
“Build anticipation, and don’t be afraid to be silly,” said Heather McPherson, a sex therapist in Austin, Texas, and Denver.
“It might be helpful to use innuendo at first as well,” she explained. “Be subtle about what you would like to do with them or subtly reference a previous experience you’ve had together. Leave it up to the imagination to fill in the gaps.”
Foreknowledge helps
You know what gets your partner off, play on that. Draw on your erotic knowledge of them while you’re sexting them. You know what they like – use it to your advantage when sending that photo or sending that text.
Details are important
“Tell ’em what you’re going to do, tell ’em what you’re doing, tell ’em what you did,” says sex columnist Dan Savage.
Andrea Glik, a therapist in New York City thinks the same.
“A memorable sext is any sext that makes you feel like what the person is describing is happening right now,” she said.
“Detail, detail, detail!”
Go all out with your appreciation!
When you’re sexting, you need to be on point with your assessment of the things your partner sends, especially if they are photos or videos. You need to gas them up like… crazy!
This is not the time to be brief in your reply. If someone has sent you a sext or nude, make sure you’re doing more than sending a thumbs up emoji in response.
Spare no words in showing your appreciation for being served with their sexy goodness.