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The Disappointing Nothingness of 'The Goop Lab'

A few weeks ago, I passed along to a friend some CBD lip balm that had come across my desk. Sure, Ill take it, the friend said. And remind mewhy would I want CBD in my lip balm?
The Disappointing Nothingness of 'The Goop Lab'
The Disappointing Nothingness of 'The Goop Lab'

The best I could come up with was a shrug, because the mountain of evidence that backs up what it could do in a lip balm is pretty much flat ground right now. But people buy it. Its trendy. Theyre curious. They want to feel better, look better, be better.

Which is probably one of the reasons people are also tuning in to The Goop Lab, a 6-episode Netflix show that launches today, billed as a series guiding the deeply inquisitive viewer in an exploration of boundary-pushing wellness topics. Its by Gwyneth Paltrows lifestyle brand Goop, of course, and the 30-ish minute episodes feature its staffers trying trends like psychedelics, cold therapy, energy healing, anti-aging, and psychics. It also explores female pleasure (hopefully not just a trend).

There are plenty of jabs you can take at the series, especially given Goops history of being slapped with penalties for making false claims about the products it sells (the essential oil that claimed to help prevent depression and the infamous Jade Egg). But passing on egregiously bad facts isnt really one of them. In whats probably a smart move for the company but a less helpful one for viewers, there arent a lot of them. In the first episode, staffers fly to Jamaica to take psilocybinmagic mushroomsafter a brief interview with the executive director of MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies) Canada, who outlines some legit findings about psychedelics (sure, it could go deeper, but its not claiming to be an investigative show). Their experience is interspersed with testimonials (positive! Whaddya know!) by other people whose lives have been transformed by psychedelics.

The trouble is that when the Goop startswith the cast in the mushrooms episode imbibing and then crying, hugging, wow-ing over the cloudsyou just dont care. All you see is a bunch of willowy superpeople trying this trend as if it were another hoodie from Supreme. The crying, the writhing, the exaggerated comforting hugs feel like an endless scroll through the narcissistic Instagram feeds that make you say, Oh, congrats! You took another picture of yourself!

Which can turn the very real quest for feeling better and doing better into a potentially exhausting try-the-trend circuitor a potentially expensive buy-the-trend circuit, conveniently available on Goop.com. Which may be why, no matter how many times her elegant wrists get slapped, people keep coming back for more Gwyneth, more Goop, more stuff.

Maybe so many people love/hate The Goop Lab and Gwyneth because its the symbol of the thing we want to deliver but never quite does. Its the thing that left us with an empty wallet and an empty spirit but a smoldering desire to have abundance in both. There it is, the empty tube of CBD lip balm (or roll of CBD toilet paper, or CBD hair products) thats still making you scratch your head about what it does. Meanwhile, youre suffering under your workload, your mom has dementia, that pain in your back keeps getting worse, and you cant afford PT.

For a moment, The Goop Lab might take your mind off all that, if you can stand the Goopy patina of perfection, the peek into real experiences that feel as authentic as reality TV does. But at the end of the day, or the end of the episode, youre still left wondering, now, why do I need this?

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