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"No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark. You only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well."

How japa separates friends and makes people lonely | Pulse Nigeria

Temi Iwalaiye

<h2>After a long week at work, Dayo, Chike, Busayo, and Derin usually gathered at the bar on Friday to drink while listening to music; the talking points were usually Nigeria.</h2>

These four Nigerians were in their late 20s and early 30s, and they had done well for themselves working as mid and senior-level managers. It was a happier time, filled with liquor, music, and laughter.

Fast forward to last Friday, and only Dayo sat at the bar drinking solemnly, wondering when he too will leave the country.&nbsp;The sad thing is that the group might never sit together in that place at the same time again. All Dayo has are memories and a forceful end to what could have been lifelong friendships.

One of the signs that a country is in peril is how quickly people migrate in search of greener pastures, often having to start from scratch.

Ever since the End Sars massacre in 2020, many young people have realised that Nigeria is the thing around their necks, stopping them from experiencing peace and progress, and have decided to jump ship.

The popular slang ‘japa’ came about around that time; it means 'to run', and it was coined from a song by Afrobeats musician Naira Marley.

Many young people chose to leave their families and friends behind, selling all their possessions to start afresh in a new country. These young people usually work gruelling hours at menial jobs while attending school, the others got better job offers abroad.

The reality is that not everyone can leave the country; on the one hand, there is the majority who don’t have the funds to leave, and on the other hand, there are those who have the money but are scared to start afresh.

Friendships are separated by japa [topnaija]

At the end of the day, friendship suffers. That friend you used to see every time—it might take years before you lay eyes on each other. You must be content with video calls and chats because their physical presence is gone.

Another subset of the japa wave are friends who have travelled to different countries. While one friend is in Canada and the other is in Germany, their paths might never cross.

But there is this incredible loneliness you feel when you see your friends in other countries enjoying a working system, going to concerts, making new friends, and taking incredibly bright pictures. You might feel stuck and wonder when you will leave Nigeria too.

The voice of poet Warsan Shire ringing in your ears, "No one leaves home until home is a damp voice in your ear saying leave, run now..."

The effect of japa on friendship [istockphoto]

How japa separates friends and makes people lonely

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