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How Love Ends: My genotype made me lose the love of my life

This is a story of love, genotype, and the tough decisions that had to be made.
The Breakup Series [DALL-E2024]
The Breakup Series [DALL-E2024]

Love, they say, is a journey with no guaranteed destination. It starts with a connection that seems like a forever deal, but somewhere along the way, it can take unexpected turns, ending in an unexpected heartbreak. 

In romance and relationships, the only constant is change, and the bitter truth is not all love stories find their 'happily ever after.'

Pulse's new series, How Love Ends, brings you the raw and real stories of people who have loved and lost. Each story narrates the accounts of what led to the end of their once-promising relationships.

Today, we have a personal story to share, one that reminds us that sometimes, even the simplest things can put an end to the most beautiful love stories.

In this episode, Tina narrates the sad end of her relationship:

How did you and your ex-partner meet?

We met through a mutual friend in 2017. He was living in my friend's house at the time, so we quickly became close. We started doing everything together and our vibe matched perfectly.

When did you start dating?

He asked me out in December 2018 and I accepted in January 2019.

What was your relationship like?

It was one of the best I’ve had. I have only dated three people in my life, and he was the third. Our vibe matched, and we practically did everything together. In fact, it felt like we were in a relationship even before he officially asked me out. He was not just my partner but also my best friend and gist partner. What I admired the most about him was his maturity.

Thinking about it now, I can't help but have regrets. I really wish I had thought it through before accepting to be in a relationship with him. If I had, maybe I could have spared myself the heartbreak that came with finding out about our genotype incompatibility.

When did that happen?

During the lockdown in 2020, we both took an online class about marriage and genotype. He already knew his genotype because his mom is a doctor, but I had never thought about it before. He encouraged me to get tested, but I was hesitant because I was scared of what the result would say and I didn't want it to affect our relationship.

Why did you eventually decide to get tested?

I had to get tested as part of my medicals for NYSC. The first result came out as AA, but he knew it was wrong because he had asked me about my mom's genotype, which is SC. My dad is AA, so where would I get AA from? He told me to get tested again, but I refused.

When did you finally find out?

I had to get tested again eventually, and the results came out as AC. He sent me money to get tested a third time, just to be sure. The result was the same: AC.

How did you feel when you found out that you two were not genotype-compatible?

It was devastating. We had been planning our future together, and now we knew it was impossible. I tried to hide the truth from him at first, but he could tell something was wrong. When I finally showed him the results, it was like a reality check.

How did he react?

He was initially sad and disappointed, but he was also understanding. He knew there was nothing we could do to change our genotypes.

Did you try to find a solution?

We talked about it a lot, and we even considered things like IVF. But in the end, we realised that it wasn't the right thing for us. His mom is a doctor, and she would never approve of him marrying an AS woman. She had seen firsthand the challenges her brother and his wife who are both AS, had faced with their child's health problems.

ALSO READ: 'We got signals from God' — this couple married even though they're both AS

What was the hardest part of breaking up?

The hardest part was knowing that I was losing the love of my life. We had such a strong connection, and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

How have you coped with the breakup?

It's been difficult, but I'm slowly healing. I'm focusing on myself and my own happiness. I'm also trying to open my heart up to other people, but it's been hard. I still love my ex, and I know I'll never forget him.

I just have to let it all go.

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