One thing most Nigerians are known for is making comments about other peoples' weight when they have nothing to talk about and when no one asks them.

Let’s say they meet an old friend they haven’t seen in a while. After they have exchanged pleasantries, one thing is certain someone is going to talk about how the other is either fatter or slimmer. 

When you are having casual conversations with friends, you should not joke about their insecurities, things that ashamed of or that they are bothered about, for example being unemployed and unable to get a job.

Sometimes our friends bear the brunt of our tongue in the guise of jokes. We make hurtful and negative comments we cannot make to strangers.

It isn't only friends who are insensitive to the weight struggles of others. Relatives and neighbors who do not mind their business always have the most comments to make about peoples' lives and bodies.

We all have insecurities. There is hardly anyone who hasn’t felt insecure about something in their life. Except for people who are borderline narcissists or have a very positive self-image, we all have ideal body goals that are not in tandem with who we are now.

Our sense of identity is outside of us. We think if our bodies were like someone else's we would be happier.

But there are extremes of these insecurities that people face when it comes to their bodies. One of these extremities is being overweight and the other is being underweight. 

Fatphobia

The most common is being overweight and in ordinary parlance…fat. Recently another liberal buzzword has come up - fatphobia. Fatphobia means hatred of fat bodies.

This is not just being thick and having a fupa (fat upper pelvic area) but being overweight.

Fatphobia is the way people disregard fat people and fat bodies. Fatphobia manifests itself in negative comments we make about fat people. Things like; "All fat people are dirty." They include insinuations and generalizations made about fat people.

Skinny shaming

The goal of people in the West is to be like Kendall Jenner. Our reality is different in Nigeria we dwindle between being too fat and too slim. We are like goldilocks searching for the proverbial porridge that is just right. So we can live up to the standards society has set for us.

Being too skinny in Nigeria is almost a crime. A potbelly is a symbol of affluence. You don’t want to appear as if you are "suffering."

The society we live in plays a major role in how we see ourselves and the context of Nigerian society is one in which we are searching for the perfect body.

Here is an excerpt from Bodylore, quoting Doy's book Seeing and Consciousness: Women, Class and Representation.

" When thinking of black women, many envision the video vixen type: big butt, big breasts, small waist but not too small, oiled up, and half naked. Positive images of black women’s bodies are rare in mainstream western media."

This is not saying that people should not deal with the attendant health issues relating to being too fat or too skinny.

When we make comments about people who in our opinion are too fat or too slim, we discountenance the fact that they may be struggling with these issues and are facing their insecurities daily.