9 Things Men Secretly Want in Bed But Hardly Admit 

Sex is one of those things Nigerian men pretend to know everything about until it’s time to talk about what they actually want. Suddenly, everybody goes quiet. This is not because men don’t have fantasies, but because ego, shame, and societal expectations often stop them from voicing their real desires.

So this is a safe space: no judgment, no raised eyebrows, just honest conversations about the things many men want in bed but rarely say out loud.

If you’ve ever wondered what’s going on behind that “I’m good” exterior, this article will make everything click.

Read Next: The Gentle Art of Guiding Your Partner Through Sex (Without Killing the Mood)

Many men secretly want their partner to join them in a moment of shared masturbation or simply watch them explore their own body.

Masturbating together, in a way, deepens your intimacy and even helps you both understand how to help each other get there. 

Read Next: Guys, here’s how to tell when she’s faking it during sex.

You may have been told at some point that staring into the mirror during sex creates a soul tie, but a lot of men are highly visual. Mirror sex feeds into that. The reflection of your reaction and facial expression, and the thrill of watching movement, connection, and pleasure unfold from a different angle, heightens their arousal.

From the classic landlord-and-tenant fantasy to office scenarios or mystery-stranger vibes, roleplay taps into imagination. It allows men to temporarily step outside the pressure of being “the responsible one”, “the provider”, or “the guy who must always know what to do”.

It offers a break from reality and a chance to explore new power dynamics without consequences.

Read Next: From Ecstasy to Tragedy: Doctors Reveal Why People Die During Sex

This one is more common than people admit. Many men are curious about ass play, especially rimming, but cultural shame and fear of judgment keep them silent. I remember a scene from Tyler Perry’s Sisters where a man desired to be penetrated from behind with a dildo. 

The truth is that the area is packed with nerve endings, and pleasure doesn't have gender. According to Healthline, stimulating the prostate (a small organ inside the body, a little bit past the anus) can lead to a different kind of orgasm, one that is deeper, stronger, and longer-lasting than what they get from just penile stimulation.

The key is hygiene, consent, and zero shaming. When done respectfully and safely, it can be one of the most vulnerable yet intensely pleasurable experiences for a man.

Read Next: For men: 5 simple tips to arouse a woman.

Waist beads are a sensory experience for men who are not scared of being jazzed (to be under a spell or charmed with juju or magic). For many Nigerian men, the soft clinking sound, the way they frame the waist, and the rhythm they create during intimacy trigger a primal reaction.

It’s one of the most common fantasies. But there’s a difference between fantasy and reality, and many men secretly know this. Still, the idea of a threesome taps into curiosity, novelty, and ego.

For some, it's about exploring pleasure in a new form. For others, it’s simply mental entertainment they’ll never actually pursue.

If a couple ever considers it, communication, emotional boundaries, and safety matter more than the fantasy itself.

Read Next: For women: Here are 4 kinky ways to arouse your man.

Even confident, dominant men crave moments where their partner takes charge, like giving instructions, directing movement, and initiating intensity.

Being dominated occasionally lets him release control, something society rarely allows men to do.

A simple “Lie back, don’t move” with a stern face or switching position swiftly and expertly as the Khaleesi did with Khal Drogo can flip a switch many men didn’t even know they had.

Read Next: A Beginner's Guide To BDSM, With Tips From A Sex Therapist

Not every man wants this in real life, but the fantasy is surprisingly common. For some, the idea of watching their partner receive pleasure sparks excitement. It’s a psychological turn-on, not always a desire to open the relationship.

Sometimes, fantasies don’t always want to leave the imagination.

At the heart of everything is this: Men want to feel safe enough to communicate desire without being judged or mocked. So many Nigerian men grew up learning to hold everything in: stress, fear, attraction, kink.

But intimacy thrives when honesty enters the room. Sometimes what he really wants isn’t the act itself, but the freedom to share his desires and know you won’t laugh, panic, or shame him.

Read Next: 10 Kinky Sex Positions To Spice Your Sex Life Way TF Up

Sex becomes richer when both partners let honesty replace performance. Most men aren’t chasing wild fantasies but crave a deeper form of connection without fear.

Maybe the real intimacy isn’t the kink, the mirror, or the roleplay but the courage to finally say, “This is what I like,” and trust that you’ll still be seen with love.