&w=64&q=75)
Nollywood actor-cum-Pastor Jimmy Odukoya has shared his emotional experience of grappling with faith and personal grief following the sudden death of his mother, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, in 2005.
Speaking on the pilot episode of the Truth Table podcast, hosted by his sister, Pastor Tolu Odukoya, Jimmy opened up about how his grief affected his faith in God.
He explained, "The difference between when mum died and when dad died was that with mum it was very sudden and no one saw it coming. I think that my biggest fear in life at the time was losing a member of my family and mum was the most important woman in my life."
Jimmy highlighted that his grief journey brought him to a crossroads where he would either face his pain head-on or abandon his faith. Ultimately, he decided to confront his pain rather than walk away from his faith.
He said, "When it happened, I felt like I was at a crossroads with God and I had two choices. It was either the middle finger to God and saying, 'You know what? I'm done. This is not what you promised, this isn't what you said. I'm leaving, I'm not doing this anymore. Where has this gotten us? And the other option was to stay there and just cry."
"I thought to myself that if I take the other option where I walk away, I'm still going to come back eventually so why waste my time walking away? Let me just stay here and cry," he added.
The pastor likened his state of emotional devastation to that of a battered soldier in the midst of battle; however, he was able to find solace in a message he received from God.
He said, "It was one of my biggest fears at the time and you know scenes in movies where you see soldiers in war-battered and broken; his shield is somewhere and he's pretty much lifeless. I felt battered and broken at that time and I remember God saying, 'Get up, soldier. Don't you realise that you're fearless now? The worst has happened so what can the devil use to threaten or scare you anymore?"
See the full interview below: