The perfect idea of a relationship is the unification of two separate people - two souls merging into one through a conscious, unending willingness to keep learning, understanding, unlearning and relearning ways to be great for each other, to each other and to never deny the other of the things that bring genuine happiness to them and set their souls alight.
The conflict that comes with this idea of unification is the need for people to remain themselves, to keep being the great individuals they were before they invested part of their being into forming that new romantic entity in the name of love.
So many times, people get into relationships and put so much of themselves into it that they forget how to be individuals. They pay so much attention to togetherness to such extent that they forget all about individuality and this is one not-so-great relationship behaviour that needs more conversation.
Maintaining individuality is critical to establishing a long-lasting, healthy partnership. Therefore, equal efforts between attending to oneself and making the relationship work are necessary.
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While it’s OK to make compromises and sacrifices for your partner, do not forget that your identity needs attention too. As much as it makes sense to be a Mr. and a Mrs.; and as much as it is fine to be this person’s girlfriend or that person’s boyfriend, you need to always think of who you are before your identity and your partner’s merged, and always put in efforts to further beautify that personality.
Your individuality does not have to be sacrificed on the altar of relationships. That education, that career, those life-long goals you have always had… you don’t have to dead them.
Yes, maybe some sort of delay may be necessary for your partner’s sake depending on the strength of your union with your boo and the route your life journey takes, but by all means don’t deny yourself the opportunity to be the best version of yourself all in the name of tightly knotting your soul with your partner’s.
Be yourself, pursue those goals and love fearlessly. Expect your partner to love you for who you are and love them back.