When I was very little, I had great aspirations for what I wanted to become and where I wanted to go as an adult. But as I grew up, I realised that, in addition to these big aspirations, I needed to learn how to get through each day with grace and peace of mind.
Life already throws too many punches our way for us not to prioritise peace and calm. But that's not to say provocations won't come. We live in a part of the world where provocation is part of the everyday routine.
You're either being insulted by an angry bus conductor or facing a manipulative boss. Either way, you need to learn to stay calm if you really want to protect your mental health.
Here are useful tips that can help you keep cool and stay calm amidst provocations.
Pause Before You React
Here's one tip that has always helped me rethink my reactions to provocations. When you get provoked, your first instinct is to snap back or defend yourself. But that doesn't help. Instead, take a deep breath and pause. This short break interrupts the automatic emotional reaction and gives your rational mind a chance to take over.
Try this: Count to five in your head or take a slow, deep breath to ground yourself before saying anything.
Recognise the Trigger
Awareness is key. Understand what exactly is provoking you - whether it’s a specific word, tone, or action. This understanding helps to put you more in control of how you perceive things. At least, you can now separate the trigger from your response, giving you control of how you react in the midst of the biggest provocations.
Don’t Take It Personally
Many times, provocation is more about the other person's issues than about you. But it becomes a problem when you soak it up and imagine that what they're saying about you is true.
That is why it's important to learn not to be full of ourselves when someone says something that triggers us. We should remind ourselves, “This says more about them than me.” Keeping that perspective can make it easier to detach emotionally.
Use the Power of Silence
Silence can be a powerful response. When you don’t react immediately, it can throw off the provocateur’s intent and give you time to think. It also sends the message to them and the people around that you’re emotionally mature and not easily shaken.
Shift the Focus
Redirect the energy. You might ask a calm, curious question: “Why do you feel that way?” or simply change the subject if the conversation is getting heated. Redirecting can break the cycle of escalation.