Everyone knows what relationship goals are. You’re also more likely to know what couple goals mean than you are to not know.
I mean, it’s a pop culture term so indiscriminately used to the extent that everywhere you turn on internet, it’s right there in your face; underneath an Instagram post of a couple kissing cutely, or just snuggled up to each other in a lavish hotel suite at some sunny location in the world.
We see these ‘goals’ every time – the over-the-top, sometimes bizarre and almost always inflated ideas of what a couple should aim for in their relationship.
And ideally, these posts are not bad in themselves. Really, how do we fault people for posting stuff on their personal timelines? Doesn’t sound right, yeah? Exactly.
What people choose to post on their Instagram, Twitter and Facebook feeds is solely on them. It is the reaction and the connotations drawn from these posts that require reevaluation.
It’s another variant of the curse of social media; this ever ever-present comparison people make between themselves and other people with online presence. People are far too quick to take hook, line and sinker, the things they see online. Enough can't be said about the illogicality in this.
Apparently, with these relationship goals and couple goals business, it does not matter so much whether people are projecting a falsified version of reality or not. People just tag posts with the ‘couple goals’ ‘relationship’ hash sign, without any knowledge of the relationship or the people in it.
And saddeningly, these are the things people want to replicate in their relationships, without any thought given to the obvious difference between that online relationship and theirs. And of course, without sparing any second thought for how wildly inaccurate many of the things we see online usually are.
Jacy Topps writing on Manrepeller about her relationship in December 2017 says:
“My relationship doesn’t have to look like other people’s. What other people do in their relationship has no bearing on mine. My partner and I didn’t need to argue like other couples, communicate like other couples, have sex like other couples and manage our household like other couples to have a successful relationship.
“We didn’t need to allow cultural trends, opinionated friends, nosy family and how-to magazine articles dictate how and when we took major steps.”
And yes, that last sentence above flips over the other side of this relationships goal coin.
People are quick to also take hook, line and sinker, the things they read online in articles, agony aunt columns and the likes. And the illogicality in this can’t be mentioned enough!
Regardless of how sensible the things you read online sound, including the ones you read from this platform and from this writer, always be careful to analyse their suitability to your relationship. Some relationship tips you see are square pegs that are being prescribed for your relationship, a round hole.
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That’s how useless some of these tips may be for you as an individual, and it is necessary to understand this! It doesn’t mean, per se, that the advice is trash. It just means that for you and your relationship, it is what it is!
Jacy adds that “opinions are formed from people’s own experiences and biases; when they suggest what they would do if they were in your shoes, it’s just that: what they would do. Not all opinions are created equal.”
And frankly, not all relationships are created equal as well.
The problem with people who place social media posts and other romantic situations under the relationship goals list is that they hardly consider the pressure they are putting themselves and others under.
It is enough that you have to navigate your relationship as it is, putting yourself or others under the undue pressure of social media relationship goals is surely not needed.