How to help a loved one having a panic attack

Panic attacks can be frightening, for the person experiencing them and for you, the one who wants to help. 

A panic attack feels overwhelming, like everything is spinning out of control. The heart races, breathing becomes hard, and the body feels frozen or shaky. 

For someone in this situation, even a small gesture of kindness can make a big difference. If you’re there for a loved one having a panic attack, the most important thing is to be supportive. Your presence can be a source of comfort, reminding them they’re not alone. 

But what exactly should you do? 

Step 1: Stay calm and ground yourself

When your loved one is having a panic attack, your first instinct might be to panic too. Don’t. Your calm energy can help them feel safe. Take a deep breath yourself and focus on staying present. If they sense that you’re calm, it can help them feel less overwhelmed.

Step 2: Gently ask how you can help

Everyone experiences panic attacks differently. Some people might want you to sit quietly with them, while others may need you to talk to them to distract their mind. Gently ask, “What can I do to help?” or “Do you want me to stay with you?” If they can’t answer, just being there can be enough.

Step 3: Help them breathe

One of the most effective ways to calm a panic attack is through deep breathing. Guide your loved one by saying, “Let’s breathe together.” Slowly count to four as they inhale and then to four as they exhale. Repeat this until their breathing slows down. If they feel too panicked to follow, try demonstrating it yourself first.

Step 4: Use grounding techniques

Grounding techniques help bring their focus back to the present. Encourage them to notice their surroundings. You can say, “Can you name five things you can see?” or “Can you feel the texture of your clothing?” Simple questions like this help shift their mind away from the panic.

Step 5: Offer reassurance

During a panic attack, it’s common to feel like something terrible is about to happen. Reassure them gently by saying, “You’re safe right now,” or “This will pass. I’m here for you.” Avoid saying things like “Calm down” or “You’re overreacting,” as this can make them feel worse.

Step 6: Give them time

Panic attacks usually last between 5 and 20 minutes, but it might feel like forever for the person experiencing it. Be patient and let them take their time. Once the attack passes, they may feel drained or embarrassed. Reassure them that it’s okay and they don’t need to apologise.

Helping someone during a panic attack is about being calm, compassionate, and supportive. You don’t need to fix the problem, you just need to be there. With these steps, you can make a difficult moment a little easier for your loved one.

ALSO READ: What panic attacks are and how to deal with them