5 signs of toxic masculinity in your relationship

Relationships should be built on love, respect, and equality. However, sometimes harmful behaviours can creep in, affecting the health of a partnership. 

Toxic masculinity is one such issue that can silently damage a relationship. It’s rooted in societal ideas that men should be dominant, unemotional, or always in control. These pressures can create unhealthy behaviours that harm both partners emotionally and mentally.

If you’re noticing certain patterns in your relationship that make you feel unheard, undervalued, or controlled, it might be a sign of toxic masculinity. Recognising these signs is the first step to addressing them and building a healthier connection.

Here are some key signs to watch out for, so you can better understand how they might show up and what to do about them.

1. Difficulty expressing emotions

Toxic masculinity teaches men that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. If your partner struggles to open up, avoids vulnerability, or dismisses your feelings, it could be a sign. Emotional expression is crucial for building a strong relationship. Without it, communication breaks down, leaving one or both partners feeling distant and unsupported.

2. Controlling behaviour

A partner exhibiting toxic masculinity might feel the need to control aspects of your life, such as your friendships, how you dress, or even your career choices. This control often stems from insecurity or the belief that they should dominate the relationship. Healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, not control.

3. Disrespecting boundaries

In a toxic dynamic, your partner might dismiss your personal boundaries. This could mean ignoring your requests for space, pressuring you into decisions, or disrespecting your time and preferences. Boundaries are essential for mutual respect, and repeatedly crossing them can indicate deeper issues.

4. Making jokes at your expense

Sarcasm or hurtful "jokes" disguised as humour can be another sign. If your partner frequently makes comments that belittle you, criticise your appearance, or undermine your intelligence, it’s a red flag. While occasional teasing can be harmless, toxic masculinity often justifies these remarks as normal, ignoring the harm they cause.

5. Refusing to share responsibilities

Toxic masculinity might lead a partner to believe certain tasks or roles are beneath them, leaving you to handle the majority of responsibilities. Whether it’s chores, finances, or childcare, an uneven division of effort can breed resentment and imbalance in the relationship. Partnership is about teamwork, not rigid roles based on outdated gender norms.

How to address toxic masculinity

If you recognise these signs, approach the situation with care. Start by having open and honest conversations about how these behaviours affect you. Encourage your partner to reflect on their actions and consider therapy or counselling to address harmful patterns. Change takes time and effort from both sides.

You deserve to feel valued, loved, and supported in your relationship.

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