Whistleblowing Dear EFCC, have you checked Kanayo O. Kanayo's house?

You know when he speaks, he speaks only money.

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EFCC has uncovered billions of naira from just bursting into empty houses and empty shops recently.

Just recently, they found over $30M in cash inside someone's house. That's minus the over ₦20M in cash they also found. Inside. One. House.

And it's thanks to the new whistle blowing policy where whistleblowers get a percentage of any money recovered if their tip offs lead to money.

In fact, this is the hottest job right now. Let's say you tell EFCC about someone's $100M dollars. You might get up to $5M as compensation for snitching.

So imagine you're a houseboy,

 

You walk into one of Oga's room and you see that kind of money, you will just transform to the King of your village overnight.

Because I'm tired of entering traffic to go to work everyday, I have decided to grab the whistle of my destiny and blow it.

Dear EFCC, have you gone to Kanayo O. Kanayo's house?

You people are forming shakara because you are recovering ordinary $50M inside one house. Kanayo is just looking at you people like.

Kanayo O. Kanayo is not a money launderer. Launderers only keep what they steal. But you see Kanayo O. Kanayo,

 

Kanayo has a goddamn moneymaking machine! There's very likely a room in his house that nobody enters, inside that room is a big red candle, and if you check properly, you might find somebody vomiting dollars.

In case you forgot, Kanayo O. Kanayo is the Patron Saint of Money Rituals.

But wait, before you go to the house, I have a condition. You know when you recover this loot you've been recovering loot. You just pack money and it's over.

But you know, this is a completely different money game. So we have to negotiate differently.

Kanayo O. Kanayo's money does not finish. As long as we continue to sprinkle the Juju with Pigeon blood. So you're going to give me 5% from every harvest, for the next 1 year.

Think about the possibilities, this simple room can rescue our economy. This simple room can fund the next budget.

Thanks for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you guys. You know where to find me.

Yours Whistleblowingly,