NYSC The 7 stages of heartbreak when your call-up letter comes out

It's time to obey the clarion call. Under the sun and in the rain.

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NYSC could be a fun-filled one year, but sometimes, it could just be a bunch of heartbreaks.

Sometimes, heartbreak means receiving your call-up letter and seeing everything you didn't expect. Let's assume you wanted to serve in Lagos, but they gave you Gombe instead.

1. It's a lie. This is not my call-up letter!

 

The letter has your name and course of study on it, but never!. You cannot claim it. In fact, you're so sure that you start scrolling through the call-up list to check for the other person bearing your name and surname.

 

 

Surprise surprise. You are the only person with that name and surname on the entire list. No one else. All the questions start flooding your mind and you immediately kick into the next gear.

2. WHAT THE HELL?!

Remember when your uncles and aunties collected your call up number? They said they'd help you get posted to the state you wanted because their friend in NYSC works with the person who wakes the Governor up every morning.

 

You dial them to ask how far, but they just give you response like,

 

But you didn’t depend on them 100%. After all, the bicycle they promised you since primary school hasn’t even come through.

So you made arrangements with one sure runs guy. He must have an explanation.

 

But you dial that one’s number and all you hear is "the number you have dialled is switched off".

3. Oh Lord, why me?

 

At this stage, you know you have entered one chance, so you just let the emotions take over completely.

 

You start thinking of all the stories you heard of Corpers going missing, or even rumours of villagers eating Corpers that have too much shakara.

 

 

4. This is the self-blame phase.

You start thinking about all the things you did and didn’t do. You start wondering maybe it didn’t click because the money you gave your runs guy wasn’t mint. Or whether you didn’t scream enough when you were praying about it. But last last,

5. God punish them!

The runs guy for jonzing you. The Government for refusing to scrap NYSC, and everything or everyone you think is responsible for your predicament. Minus yourself of course.

6. I don’t give a damn anymore!

 

At this point, you stop caring. You don’t care about what anyone has to say, you don’t care about NYSC, about what your family is going to say, or anybody at all. You’re just going to leave everything, go ahead and create a new app and become a billionaire.

 

Then it strikes you, all the people that have invented important things in the last 100 years had light. But you are still struggling with NEPA.

 

Hay God!

7. The “God dey” moment has come.

This is when your shoulder drops on this matter, never to rise again.

 

You now start calling to look for all the people who got posted to that state you hate so much.

And when people start to tease you about it, you just tell them “Na small thing, it didn’t even bother me at all”.

 

It’s just camp, you tell yourself. Just camp.

Fashola play

Fashola

(Punch)

 

Then it dawns on you that the next one year of your life might happen very slowly in a village that might not even have Internet.

 

Kuku kill me.

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