Inspire the change you desire in your relationship

chika ebuzor

January 31, 2016 7:29 AM

Nobody will allow your opinion in their life, until they trust that you are a stakeholder in project of their life and, you understand where they are coming from.

relationship

Be the person to bring out the best in someone else. Not by trying to change them though, but by building on their gifts.

Most times we focus on what should be changed in the other person, so we can be compatible. I always say compatibility is a selfish concept.

It has made people try to bend others to be a certain way that they think. I think relationships should be about values and character.

Once you find that your values line up, then understanding is all that is left. Most of all, mutual understanding.

Why not be the change the other person aspires to imbibe? Rather than be the task master that demands change.

Why should you seek to make the person conform to your own selfish and myopic understanding of who a perfect person should be.

Even God never sought for perfect people. Should we condone bad habits? No!

I ain't perfect either. Your role in his or her life is to add value and not change value.

Am I giving an excuse for bad habits to fly, No! From experience, I have never seen nagging and complaints achieve any change.

Rather, it draws you farther apart. I think why we get disappointed in people in relationships is that we have a sense that everybody has to bend to suit us, before we can fit in.

In fact to summarise this matter eh!

For example, If you complain your man or woman is too proud, you too have pride in you.

It takes a proud man to know a proud woman.

Na market wey you dey sell na him you go sabi.

Everybody sees the world from the glasses they wear.

Maybe instead of hacking down people, you should take a look at the world from the other person's pair of glasses.

Or better still, go without yours for a while. Maybe you go see clearly.

Let's continue this conversation on Twitter:@Insights4Men and Facebook: Insights4men

chika ebuzor