The secret ingredient to having a 'delicious' marriage

oge okonkwo

August 26, 2015 5:40 PM

The mistake that many women make is that they start “baking” without actually taking the time to consider what kind of “cake” they want and then complain that it is a big flop!

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Life Balance Expert, Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses of Healthy Black Woman says marriage is like baking a cake, there are only two outcomes - a well baked delicious cake or a big mess.

So what do you do to make sure your marriage turns out 'delicious'. Read what the Life Expert says about having a beautiful marriage:

I was baking and had the thought that when you bake a cake, there is always a possibility that it can turn out delicious or it can be a big flop. As a Life Balance Expert, when talking to different women about how they balance their lives, marriage tends to make up a large part of the conversation.

I genuinely believe that if you’re going to be a successful Mocha Mogul – an Entrepreneur woman who successfully balances marriage, motherhood and moneymaking™ you have to make sure your marriage is not a big flop. If it is, it is unlikely that you will achieve your goal of having life balance.

Much like when baking a cake, in order to make sure it is not a big flop, you must start out with the basic ingredients, like flour, eggs and sugar. How much sugar you add depends on how sweet you and those who will eat the cake like it. Marriage is the same in that there are some key ingredients, like both partners being fully committed, being loving and kind to one another and being intimate.

The mistake that many women make is that they start “baking” without actually taking the time to consider what kind of “cake” they want and then complain that it is a big flop! The best advice I ever got about marriage was that, in any given marriage, the experts are always the two people in the marriage. Many people run out to buy books, read articles and even attend seminars about marriage and relationships and miss the biggest step which is asking your spouse what they want – that is the secret ingredient! The secret ingredient changes based on who you ask and if you’re in a marriage, the best source for that key ingredient is your spouse. Just ask.

You see, for a person who likes their cake extra sweet, a perfectly lovely cake with a moderate amount of sugar may seem delicious to most people but to them, it may not taste delicious because it is not sweet enough. Even if you had the best chef prepare the cake, without that critical piece of information, the cake could still be a flop for that one person with the extra sweet tooth.

A wise woman knows that in order to have a “delicious” marriage that both her and her husband enjoy, she must first know what the basic ingredients are. Then she must know how “sweet” she likes it and how “sweet” her man likes it and most importantly, she must make sure her man knows her secret ingredient and she knows his. If the cake still isn’t as delicious as they both hoped it would be, they shouldn’t be afraid to read a book about baking or to even call a master pastry chef who has been baking for a long time and can give some insight on how to produce a delicious cake. In marriage, this translates to reading a book about marriage and getting counseling from an expert or someone who has a lot of experience in marriage.

At the end of the day, as long as you have the basic ingredients and you mix in the secret ingredient, you can make a delicious cake. If however, you don’t take the time to make sure you have all the ingredients and you ignore each other’s preferences, you may have a big flop on your hands. The next time you feel like your cake or your marriage is not delicious, consider that you may have forgotten to add the secret ingredient.

oge okonkwo