Dr Juliet Moses treats us to the steps to giving women the greatest orgasms of their lives.
"Dear Dr Juliet,
I have been married for six years now and i always thought my wife and our sex life is great all along but just last week, my wife told me she has been enduring sex with me, accusing me of not being able to make her scream in bed.
What do I do to make her enjoy sex?
Dr Juliet Moses says:
I quite understand how your wife feels as a woman and I do appreciate your efforts to make her enjoy sex.
You see, sex is to be enjoyed and not endured and for your wife to open to you means she really wants the two of you to connect and have the best of times under the sheets.
There are a few things which almost every woman wishes men did more of in bed and we will treat them here.
1. Give her an orgasm before real sex starts
For some women, getting an orgasm before the very act commences is one of the greatest turn ons they can ever get. And this is by far the biggest thing women wish their men did more of in bed.
And sadly, most men don't even try to explore this as they are always in a hurry to stick it inside and hump away. They clumsily plow straight to intercourse as fast as possible without taking time to engage in serious foreplay. Their idea of foreplay usually consists of a few minutes of obligatory kissing, followed by another few minutes of obligatory breast stimulation, and their ultimate goal of intercourse is reached. No woman wants this; it is as simple as that!
If you can give your wife an orgasm before you penetrate her, then it's guaranteed to be good sex in her book, even if you don't last as long as you'd like. And on top of this, giving her an orgasm will make her more responsive and much more likely to have another orgasm during intercourse. Sex becomes better for you, and for her.
2. Pay attention to non-obvious erogenous zones in her body
Most men, and I mean quite a large number of men, only pay attention to the obvious spots on a woman's body when trying to give her sexual pleasure. Spots like the breasts, clitoris and g-spot are often attacked with the erroneous belief that this will set her in the right mood. But women don't want men to only pay attention to these spots as they want you to pay attention to their whole body.
Research has shown that there are 16 other hidden erogenous zones on a woman's body which can give her pleasure, and which can actually make her more sensitive to vaginal stimulation.
Look for these hidden zones on her body and spend quality time working on them and she will be screaming your name in pleasure.
3. Lasting longer in bed
Most women don't mind if you don't last that long in bed, as long as you're good with your fingers, because you will adequately compensate her by working your magic fingers appropriately and in the right places.
But women hate it when a man shoots off too soon because it prevents them from having orgasms. How would you feel if a woman got you close to an orgasm, then all of a sudden stopped, rolled over, and went to sleep?
You need to know how to last 30 minutes in bed at the minimum but if you really want to drive you woman wild, then you should learn how to last over an hour in bed. And of course, you can have a quickie once in a while, but most of the time, women will need a minimum of 30 minutes of intercourse to have multiple orgasms.
And by lasting longer in bed, it includes all the works, the finger works, the cunnilingus, the oral sex, the romance and above all, the actual sex itself.
4. Tease her until she begs for it
Again, it is no gain saying that most men do not spend time doing the ground work before the sex begins. They just plow forwards directly to his goal of intercourse with no finesse, just doing the minimum necessary to get to penetration.
But what women want is for you to build up to a sexual action with teasing until she's practically begging you for it. And when you finally give in to her, she will be grateful to you all the time.
For example, with oral sex, most men just dive right in. What would turn her on much more is if you kiss up her inner thighs, and breathe warmly on her vagina. Then, so lightly she can barely feel it, run your tongue over her clitoris.
Do this until she's pleading with you to give her more and then give her the gratification. She'll enjoy it about a hundred times more.
5. More oral please
A typical Nigerian man wants his woman to give him the mind blowing blow job but they would be taken aback if their women asks them to go down on her.
Hey, do you remember the saying of doing to others what you would want them to do to you? If your woman can give you a blow job, I see no reason for you not to replicate same. If you know how to do it right, giving her oral sex is the fastest and easiest way to give her orgasms.
Once you make her come through oral sex, she'll be much more responsive during the real intercourse, and much more likely to go down on you. Give your woman plenty of oral sex, and she will love you for it.
6. Turn her on with words of mouth
Women are sensitive beings and they like to hear what you men call sweet nonsense. There is no woman who does not like being complemented and told those sweet things but most men are afraid to say anything or make any noise in bed because they're afraid the woman will think they're cheesy or weird.
But if they were privy to private female conversations, they would know the exact opposite is true. A woman gets bored with a man who is completely silent in bed, because she doesn't know whether or not he's even enjoying it.
It's a complete turn-off. Women want their men to tell them they are actually enjoying what they do with her. Think about it: would you be turned on more by a woman who lay there as silent and still as a corpse, or a woman who is screaming your name in pleasure and telling you she loved your cock?
You need to learn how to be vocal in bed, and how to turn a woman on through sexual talk.
7. Use sexual eye contact more
Have you ever had an orgasm while looking into your woman's eyes the entire time? It is one of the most intensely pleasurable experiences you can have. The sexual eye contact heightens the feelings of pleasure and connection beyond anything I can describe in words.
And any woman who has experienced this before craves for more of it. Avoid the typical routine of turning off all the lights and just grunting and pounding away in the dark. Start to work some eye contact into your sexual encounters, and see how much it turns her on. Of course, you have to learn how to do this in the right way but once you do, she'll love it.
8. Pay attention to her after sex
Some men just turn their back on their women after sex and in twinkle, they are snoring off. Nothing is more killing than this. After sex, a woman is completely open and vulnerable to you. Most guys squander this time by ignoring her after sex, or by just going to sleep.
Women don't 'come down' from sexual pleasure as quickly as men though, so she's going to want you to hold her and be close to her while she does. Believe me, she'll enjoy sex much more if you just spend a few minutes doing this.
Plus, what most guys don't know is that after sex is the best time to strengthen her sexual bond to you, so that she wants to have sex more in the future. If you're doing the right things here, you'll never have to beg and plead for sex because her sexual bond to you will be so strong she'll be eager for sex whenever you want it.
9. Get her to perform for you
Men are obsessed with putting in a good performance in bed. And to some extent, this is not a bad thing because you do want to give her sexual pleasure and orgasms. But if you need to be performing for her all the time, then this can be a big turn-off for her. She wants a guy who can also set up situations where she can perform for him.
For example, almost all women love giving blow jobs if the guy can get her thinking about them the right way. And if you can get her to perform for you like this, it'll be a huge sexual thrill to her. Think about the rush you get from giving her a huge orgasm - this is what she'll experience if you know how to bypass her inhibitions and get her to perform for you in bed.
10. Learn how to give her orgasms
Finally, be concerned about her orgasm and this is very important for her ego and your over all sex life.
By combining all the steps I have highlighted, you will soon have your woman screaming her head off in bed.