Top Ten Bad Pickup Lines

We can’t exactly have all the right words when we see that hot, inviting girl, strolling..no, swinging past you, or that alone girl quietly reading her novel or taking a slow meal at the eatery. Our blood boils up, our hearts sets on a marathon, and we pump up our creative juices. We become romantic Einsteins. But here’s the pit-hole. We don’t hit the lady with the juice, or with right one. We tend to just ignore our originality and treat her to the first 1992 pickup line that I bet our grandpas have in their get-em-girls diaries. In order to illustrate this, we’ve compiled a list of the top 10 bad pickup lines. Can I get a “thank you”? Please?

“Great Legs, What Time Do They Open?”

Very funny, right? But it gets you nowhere with her by trying this rubbish. Anytime you imply that a good-looking girl is easy because she’s dressed provocatively and in a bar, you’re committing a huge mistake. If she’s hot, why would she burn her valuable time by listening to you roll out your insulting crap?

“You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.”

This one has been around for longer than most would remember (It was used on my grandma). So if you haven’t heard it, then you just dropped in from the stone age, and if you’re actually still using it, please join us in the 21 century and leave it where it belongs: in the dumpster. Trying the cheesy angle is a good idea, but it should be at least mildly original.

“Hey girl, what’s up? Guess what? It’s your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk to.”

“Arrogant little jerk!” So she’ll say when your confidence comes across as stupid arrogance. It won’t work, unless of course you’re a male model and ridiculously good-looking.

“That shirt’s very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be coming too.”

Offering a girl you just met a sperm bath is not a good way to build attraction. In fact, the lecherous approach always fails. Yeah I know sometimes all we want is a no-strings-attached action, but making reference to any of your body fluids with a rotten pickup line like this one is not how you should go about it.

“Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?”

She’s no prostitute. Yes she wants to feel attractive, yes she wants to feel sexy, but no, she doesn’t want to feel like a hired worker. By offering her money for sex, you’re not only losing your chance to catch Juliet, you’re also earning yourself a slap on the face, and her non-alcoholic drink poured over your head. At least you won’t die.

“Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.”

Any girl who loves this must have a weekly appointment with a mental institution. If not, she’ll dismiss you as a creep and walk away while you swear under your breath and stew in your defeat. “Go home Son, try again when you reach puberty.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”

Kinda funny, but also smells like it’s been produced by the cocky machine. Many girls find a cocky swagger cripplingly appealing, particularly if you’re better-than-average looking, but this type of bad pickup line has got egomaniac written all over it.

“Excuse me; I think you owe me a drink.”[She says, «Why?»] “Because when I saw you from across the room I dropped mine. It was a Star, and I’m [your name].”

This triggers the bullshit detector in most girls, and you run the danger of being labeled an arse. At this point, you shouldn’t be asking her for things, but you should be offering to make her life better in some small way like buying her a drink.

“Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get.”

Guys who use bad pickup lines like this think they’re being cute, but really they’re just wasting time and space and should be barred from entering nightclubs. By referencing slogans and catch phrases they hope to achieve some common bond with the girl, but instead just come across as dorks who watch too much TV.

“Do you come here often?”

There are some pickup lines that have worked their way into our collective consciousness and managed to stay there, lodged forever -- and this has to be the worst of them all. Even with a dash of irony, this bad pickup line is likely to send her off in search of a restraining order.

Pickup With Class Not Crass

Pickup lines are totally overrated and unnecessary because their only purpose is to start up a conversation with a girl. There are over a million more effective ways of doing that, but if you must stick to it, make sure it ticks all the right boxes…not to mention, gets you at least 5 minutes of conversation time.

Now go get em, Tiger!