Save your thoughts, get me gifts

If you have ever been to a couple of Nigerian weddings and/or birthday parties, you may have seen people wrap all sorts of unimaginables, traipse to where the host is seated, flash The Nigerian Smile, hand them over, collect a souvenir, repeat the smile and greet as many friends and family as possible on their way out.

I remember a wedding party a couple hosted in my neighbourhood years ago. During the party, another neighbour went to a nearby provision shop and requested 5 twenty naira notes in place of a #100 note.

I knew this because he shamelessly talked about it weeks later. Young as I was, I wondered why he had to go to such lengths just to give a gift and get one in return. It didn’t seat right with me but I never did get an answer until years later and through an isolated event.

I volunteered at a retreat for married couples two years ago and got talking with another volunteer who was married. We soon shifted to the topic of weddings and wedding gifts.

He talked about how he saw #10 notes, #50 naira notes and even a feather when he opened the wedding gifts with his wife. I was shocked. But then, I guess those people hid behind ‘the thoughts not the gifts’ matter.

I often wonder why people even bother to get gifts for the host when I go to weddings or birthday parties and watch people bring gifts that will most likely end up redundant in the recipient's house. I wonder when the cycle of deception will stop but then, the thought matters, right?

Well, maybe it’s high time we held an appraisal…time we asked questions.

A good place to start will be to ask 'Will I be happy if I receive the gift I'm about to give?'

'Am I really giving the best I can afford at this time?'

'Am I excusing the substandard gifts I'm bearing under the umbrella of "the thoughts matter"?'

Things may have been done the wrong way for quite a while but who says we can’t make a change in whatever way we can? Any change we seek begins with you and me.

Imagine how great you will feel when someone gets you a great gift; picture the smile that could light up your friend’s face when you get him a thoughtful gift. Aren’t these realities worth creating?

When next you want to get someone a gift, ensure you get what you will be proud of receiving. Give more than thoughts–give thoughtful gifts.

The gift doesn’t have to cost a liver…it just has to mean something to the recipient and elicit a real smile (a few tears won’t be bad though).