Dating and African child 2

yinka ogunlami

May 26, 2017 5:00 PM

From diapers to beards; from feeding bottles to lipsticks -it happens so quickly, one gets the feeling that we might have just woken up from deep sleep.

Dating and the african child

Amazing how children grow.. From diapers to beards; from feeding bottles to lipsticks -it happens so quickly, one gets the feeling that we might have just woken up from deep sleep.

Through the parents’ lens, however, a child remains a child irrespective of the age! So difficult to let go .LOL!

I think our culture makes it difficult for us to prepare for the “ love times” of our children. We prefer to assume the famous “Ostrich pose” that is so prevalent among African parents, within this context.

I cannot recall my mother; ever sitting me down to give me a lecture on sex education, everything I learned, was from books, movies and peers. Can you imagine going to a typical mother of the 80’s to discuss your feelings towards someone in your school? The heavy slaps that will accompany you might give you hearing problems for the rest of your life. Why do we think that building walls of communication between our wards and us is the key to earning their respect?

A lot has changed from our teenage years to this present day and so what we will like to assume worked for us (I don’t believe it did), will definitely not work for the teenagers of today.

You should be interested in your child’s “love life” if he or she has one. By so doing , you can guide and guard her in the process. Let us be realistic here , threats will do very little in a situation where you feel that a boy/girl friend is not what your Ward needs . Think back to your teen years, did your parents’ threats stop you or make you smarter by making sure that you were never caught? Threats, shouts, rash punishments will only make the bond stronger: after all, they have one thing in common, “ they are hated by everybody else “.

I thread with caution when I have a case of teenagers who are “in love”, this is because, I understand the plight of the parents who just want their children to pass their exams, and rightly so. A relationship requires work, attention to make it grow; there might be little time for that within the school curriculum. So we know that, parents know that but the child needs to understand that. And this understanding “ cometh not by force “ if you know what I mean.

So what do you do , when you find out that your teenager has a boyfriend ?

You will have to wait till my next blog to know..

Auntybspeaks.com gud to talk

yinka ogunlami