Be the bigger person

You know how you dislike something when you first hear of it then try your best not to come in contact with it, only for it to come full circle and unexpectedly be a central message in one of life's numerous lessons? Well, it just happened to me.

I first heard the phrase, “Be the bigger one,” many years ago and at the time, I wondered why some other phrase such as, “Show maturity,” or “You can do better,” was not used in its place.

I instantly disliked it and hurriedly put it out of my mind. In fact, because of this phrase I started disliking similar statements e.g. “Bigger you I pray.” They just did not make much sense to me.

Incidentally, this ‘disliked' phrase popped into my mind uninvited, just yesterday and I felt it apt to the situation, let me gist you…

An unexpected quarrel started between mutual acquaintances of mine, it was one of those sensitive politics-religion-race issues that left some people offended, others defensive and the rest silently avoiding or trying to choose sides.

The different statement from all involved made me wonder if anyone would be willing to bear the discomfort of apologizing so that tempers could be cooled and relationships saved.

We don’t know many instances of the disciples quarrelling amongst themselves but this was a big one, with the potential to permanently tear whatever togetherness they might been enjoying before then (Mark 10:35-44).

Two of the disciples requested from Jesus, to seat on his right and left in glory, the other disciples heard of this request and became angry, and here’s the interesting part. In the world, especially in political circles, many leaders would be pleased with this kind of conflict; they would allow it fester, stylishly fan the flames so that those in contention for the leadership position would somehow get implicated and then get kicked out or disqualified or eliminated from the race; not so with Jesus.

He calls them together and tells them that it is different in Gods kingdom, whoever wants to be chief has to be a servant (Mark 10:44). That simple statement puts an end to any otherwise ambition because most people, especially in this part of the world, who want to lead, to control people and resources desire it for their own gain.

It’s as if that coveted position has dollar signs $$ over it, beckoning on any who can, to come in and have their fill. And it’s as if the prevalent mindset of those who do get into such positions is grab-it mentality - How much can I grab for myself and my unborn generations and how fast can I grab it? How else would one explain all the reckless looting that has been going on these past years?

But let us return to the root of our discussion. Did Jesus show his disciples how to be the bigger person by taking control of a potentially volatile situation and setting things straight? I think he did.

And he set an example for us to follow, in other words, in a family setting, traditional or untraditional, be willing to do what it takes to maintain its peace, not because you’re a fool but because where there is unity there is great progress.

Relationships produce many great benefits and we should, no matter their life span, protect and treasure them while we can.

And since I don’t like half-and-half stories, yes someone took on the bigger person role, apologized and set things straight.

Isabel Wrights is a simple woman who delights in God's love covering and desires to reflect this love relationship in her everyday life. You can connect with her via