3 things about this year's edition of Big Brother that gets my goat

yinka ogunlami

January 26, 2017 3:37 PM

No, I don't follow the show; I managed to watch one episode in the UK – I think in 2006 – and that was enough to turn me off for life.

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So, yesterday I have been tormented (sorry, regaled) with social media commentary on the airing of another instalment of “Big Brother”. No, I don't follow the show; I managed to watch one episode in the UK – I think in 2006 – and that was enough to turn me off for life.

But 'entertainment' means different things to different people, so Nigeria has imported the “Big Brother” concept/show/brand. I think it used to be called “Big Brother Africa”, but anyway this year it's apparently “Big Brother Nigeria”. And some Nigerians are hyperventilating because it's being filmed in South Africa

Three things that are making me laugh, even if I absolutely feel like crying:

1. The mess that constitutes the 'business environment' in Nigeria

I honestly am not sure if there's someone in the current administration, whose job it is to advise on entrepreneurship and all related to it.

A part of me hopes there isn't, because their existence would just be cruel. I mean, apart from the red-bereted one who seems to have been released from hell to embarrass us on a national scale each time he opens his mouth, the person (if there is one) in charge of advising on entrepreneurship is probably competing for 'most confused unit of this administration', with whomever has decided that Nigeria be plunged in darkness.

Literally. I have never seen a country where people actually get punished for being entrepreneurs – from CAC to FIRS to banks to Customs to the agberos on the street, it feels like situations and a special brand of bureaucracy have actually been deliberately created to frustrate Nigerian entrepreneurs.

2. Some people's definition of patriotism

At the time of writing this, our president is in the UK for medical purposes for 10 days. Far be it from me to even appear to hold court for Nigerian doctors, but seriously? There's got to a reason he decided that even if he is the first citizen of Nigeria, that his health can be best managed by a non-Nigerian doctor outside Nigeria.

I mean, we all know someone who spouts rhetoric of 'Grow America with American-made goods' or something like that, yet is married to an immigrant and became the President of the United States.

And at home, our 'common sense senator' whose bulldog skills only come out on Twitter, and whose mantra was 'Buy Nigerian to Grow the Naira' – remind me where his kids studied? Boom! You cannot create ridiculous situations and expect people to stay in them, to prove patriotism.

3. Business is about money … and peace of mind

Just like it makes no sense for anyone who actually like themselves to attempt to fly Arik, it is pointless to pretend that profits are not important to business. Someone needs to produce something; if they know what's good for them, they won't attempt that in the most volatile and unsatisfactory environment they can find, if they can help it.

They will go to a place that's most conducive for them, if they can afford it. If you need to hire people in the host country, you will do it. You don't come into someone's country, use their facilities on a large scale, and not contribute to their people. It's not just a visa acquisition issue; it's also a common sense, and in some cases, a legal issue.

You want longevity in your business? You work your hustle and you block out the irredeemably unimportant opinions of people who won't give you a dime if your business fails.

yinka ogunlami